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Reviews by 'JonoGigantor'
Current status of
Movie buff
with a total of
87
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
Departed, The (2006)
Matt the rat.
Sep 8, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(4)
Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King, The (2003)
The roast of Sauron.
Oct 25, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(4)
Braveheart (1995)
The Patriot (scottish version).
Jan 21, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
(3)
Die Another Day (2002)
Zao has expensive acne.
Oct 4, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(3)
Beowulf (2007)
Big Bad 'Wulf.
Dec 28, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Bourne Ultimatum, The (2007)
Bourne has his identi3.
Aug 27, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Messenger: The Story Of Joan Of Arc, The (1999)
Jo(vovich)an of Arc.
Jun 29, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(2)
No Country For Old Men (2007)
Death by coin toss.
May 12, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
War (2007)
Yakuza vs. Triads.
Oct 4, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Zoolander (2001)
Walk-off shames Stiller.
Jul 9, 2008
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
300 (2006)
300 spartans with thongs.
Sep 17, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Apocalypto (2006)
Conquistadors come. Mayans screwed.
Aug 30, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Beowulf (2007)
Grendel hates loud noises.
Nov 21, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Big Lebowski, The (1998)
Two Lebowskis, one Dude.
Feb 18, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Choke (2008)
Sexaholic gags for money.
Oct 14, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Citizen Kane (1941)
Kane's 'singer' wife sucks.
Sep 23, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Dark Knight, The (2008)
Two-Face(s) of coin.
Aug 6, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Double Indemnity (1944)
Femme Fatale Phyllis Falls.
Mar 18, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Forrest Gump (1994)
Ping Pong Soldier.
Sep 12, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Gold Rush, The (1925)
Lace spaghetti. Mmm..Good.
Sep 19, 2007
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Uma + Crazy 88's = bloody.
Aug 25, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Mamba takes down Charmer.
Nov 1, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Last Samurai, The (2003)
White samurai Cruises Japan.
Mar 10, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor, The (2008)
Li regenerates by constipation.
Aug 8, 2008
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Ocean's Thirteen (2007)
Matt's nose of charm.
Oct 8, 2007
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Office Space (1999)
Livingston avoids Lumberg's lectures.
Mar 12, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
Vidal's hour of death.
Oct 10, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Red Dragon (2002)
Fiennes an artistic eater.
Jan 29, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Rush Hour 3 (2007)
Chan, Tucker. Fin3st hour.
Sep 17, 2007
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Shaun Of The Dead (2004)
The Winchester: Fortress/Pub.
Jul 9, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Shooter (2007)
Swagger has a roast.
Oct 15, 2007
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Simpsons Movie, The (2007)
Homer shit infects lake.
Jul 15, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith (2005)
Vader gets barbequed.
Sep 12, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Stardust (2007)
Dancing DeNiro a captain.
Sep 10, 2007
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Taken (2008)
Neeson busts some caps.
Mar 8, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
The Good German (2006)
Maguire pimps Blanchett.
Mar 12, 2009
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Transformers (2007)
Megawesome-tron.
Sep 30, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Transporter 2, The (2005)
Statham nails assassin.
Oct 4, 2007
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
War (2007)
Li has head hunt.
Oct 4, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
War (2007)
Statham vs. Rogue Li.
Oct 4, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Watchmen (2009)
Rorschach becomes red ink.
Mar 22, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Wrestler, The (2008)
Ram, Ayatollah sudden death.
Feb 6, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Amadeus (1984)
Salieri: Saint of Mediocrity.
Feb 18, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
American Graffiti (1973)
Ford's first famous film.
Mar 12, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
Beowulf (2007)
Beowulf fights bare naked!
Nov 21, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Blood Diamond (2006)
DiCaprio dies on T.I.A.
Dec 18, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Bonnie And Clyde (1967)
Bonnie Clyde Double Trouble.
Mar 18, 2008
Scored 3/5
Vote
Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan (2006)
Borat bags blonde.
Nov 26, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Burn After Reading (2008)
Malkovich hacks Hardbody's manager.
Mar 25, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
Casino Royale (2006)
Blood-tearing LeChiffre bluffs.
Jul 15, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Chicago (2002)
Gere ventriloquists Zellweger.
Dec 17, 2007
Scored 2/5
Vote
Count Of Monte Cristo, The (2002)
Count not a Saint.
Dec 18, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, The (2008)
Life passes by counterclockwise.
Feb 6, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
Dark Knight, The (2008)
Joker's phone call bursts.
Mar 6, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
Double Indemnity (1944)
Walter's Femme Fatale Flame.
Mar 18, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
Eastern Promises (2007)
Viggo finger-clipping driver.
Mar 29, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
Eastern Promises (2007)
Kirill likes to watch.
Mar 29, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
Fight Club (1999)
Shoots self kills Pitt.
Jan 21, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Game Plan, The (2007)
The dancing prancing Rock.
Dec 20, 2007
Scored 2/5
Vote
Get Smart (2008)
Arkin's head nearly impaled.
Jul 15, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
Gladiator (2000)
Emperor dead. General betrayed.
Aug 29, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
GoldenEye (1995)
Onatopp always on top.
Jan 5, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Good, The Bad And The Ugly, The (1966)
Tuco the bathtub killer.
Nov 13, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
History Of The World: Part I (1981)
Pee boy replaces King.
Nov 27, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Hot Fuzz (2007)
Church tower Pegged Skinner.
Aug 20, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull (2008)
Spalko's brain too small.
Jul 11, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom (1984)
Mola Ram incinerates heart.
Jul 15, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
Iron Man (2008)
Sound silently paralyzes Stark.
Sep 22, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Kingdom Of Heaven (2005)
Bloom gets knight slapped.
Sep 28, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Letters From Iwo Jima (2006)
Dud bomb hits Saigo.
Mar 10, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King, The (2003)
The Fell beasts fall.
Oct 25, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
Uruk-hai urge for flesh.
Oct 16, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Ocean's Twelve (2004)
Frenchman steals fake egg.
Feb 7, 2008
Scored 3/5
Vote
Patriot, The (2000)
Tavington gets the point.
Sep 30, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Pink Panther 2, The (2009)
Cleese succeeds Kline.
Jun 28, 2009
Scored 2/5
Vote
Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
Sparrow back from locker.
Sep 29, 2007
Scored 4/5
Vote
Prestige, The (2006)
Jackman's clones encounter Bale.
Feb 18, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
Quantum Of Solace (2008)
Bond doesn't bang Olga.
Mar 12, 2009
Scored 3/5
Vote
Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981)
Indy dices Nazi.
Mar 18, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Schindler's List (1993)
Hanging Goeth Hails Hitler.
Jun 19, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return Of The Jedi (1983)
Leia chain-garrotes Jabba.
Nov 1, 2007
Scored 4/5
Vote
There Will Be Blood (2007)
Plainview gets a strike.
Aug 6, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Troy (2004)
Bloom's Pit(t)iful fighting skills.
Aug 6, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Wanted (2008)
Sloan taints the loom.
Jul 9, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
Watchmen (2009)
Ozymandias the modern Pharaoh.
Mar 22, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
Watchmen (2009)
Ozymandias cleverly kills Comedian.
Mar 22, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
Windtalkers (2002)
Cage storms Saipan Beach.
Mar 12, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
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