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Toy soldiers go berserk.


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17	Sal[Au]pian (5142)
18	Rovark (5075)
19	Montgomery (4929)

Luck-pushing, rule-bending, chance-taking reviewer

Reviews by 'Rovark'

Current status of Movie deity (Bronze) with a total of 5075 reviews published to date.

Order by

Film Name

Review Votes

Review Score

Chronological Order

Show

Mary Poppins (1964)

Van Dyke's pseudo-cockney-unrealistic-especially-atrocious accent.

Aug 26, 2003
Scored 5/5

Vote (93)

Watership Down (1978)

Warren piece.

Oct 17, 2003
Scored 4/5

Vote (92)

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Hand lost. Han found.

May 1, 2003
Scored 3/5

Vote (41)

Dudley Do-Right (1999)

The Fool Mountie.

Sep 15, 2004
Scored 2/5

Vote (38)

8 Mile (2002)

Rap. With capital C.

Mar 15, 2003
Scored 2/5

Vote (38)

Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade (1989)

About last Knight.

May 22, 2003
Scored 4/5

Vote (37)

Signs (2002)

Alien visitors bring Spirograph.

Mar 24, 2004
Scored 3/5

Vote (36)

Matrix Revolutions, The (2003)

Messiah leaves holey Trinity.

Nov 14, 2003
Scored 4/5

Vote (35)

Titanic (1997)

She floats. He don't.

May 15, 2002
Scored 1/5

Vote (34)

Basic Instinct (1992)

Stone shows cunning stunt.

Aug 24, 2003
Scored 3/5

Vote (32)

Interview With The Vampire (1994)

Haemoerotic.

Aug 10, 2004
Scored 5/5

Vote (32)

Big Blue, The (1988)

Deep-breath taking. Deep, breath-taking.

Sep 20, 2003
Scored 4/5

Vote (29)

Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines, Or How I Flew From London To Paris In 25 Hours 11 Minutes (1965)

Luvvies in the air.

May 8, 2004
Scored 4/5

Vote (27)

Bambi (1942)

Greatest stag movie ever.

May 17, 2003
Scored 3/5

Vote (27)

Exodus (1960)

Birth of Oy Nation.

May 19, 2005
Scored 3/5

Vote (27)

Phone Booth (2002)

Life on the line.

May 5, 2004
Scored 3/5

Vote (27)

Casino (1995)

Macho DeNiro, Mucho dinero.

Nov 11, 2003
Scored 3/5

Vote (26)

Blazing Saddles (1974)

The Sheriff's a ni...

Jan 20, 2003
Scored 6/5

Vote (26)

Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, The (2004)

Murray's 'Life of Brine'.

Jul 22, 2005
Scored 2/5

Vote (26)

Highlander (1986)

French Scotsman, Scottish Spaniard.

Feb 9, 2003
Scored 3/5

Vote (25)

Hang 'Em High (1968)

Eastwood not well hung.

Apr 23, 2003
Scored 3/5

Vote (25)

Bean (1997)

Unbearable Triteness Of Bean.

Mar 24, 2004
Scored 3/5

Vote (25)

Zodiac (2007)

Twe12e.

Aug 19, 2005
Scored 4/5

Vote (24)

Phantasm (1979)

Great ball's a flier.

May 5, 2004
Scored 4/5

Vote (24)

Desperado (1995)

Mad Mex: Guitar warrior.

May 15, 2003
Scored 6/5

Vote (24)

Pollock (2000)

Jack the dripper.

Mar 15, 2004
Scored 3/5

Vote (23)

10 (1979)

Dudley's a sex thimble.

Feb 7, 2003
Scored 2/5

Vote (23)

Star Wars: Episode VI - Return Of The Jedi (1983)

Leia wears That costume.

Mar 15, 2003
Scored 3/5

Vote (22)

Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)

'Greens' destroy 'Saruman Industries'.

Mar 15, 2003
Scored 6/5

Vote (22)

Fistful Of Dollars, A (1964)

The Leone Stranger.

Oct 20, 2005
Scored 6/5

Vote (21)

Orgasm Raygun, The (1998)

Gun causes 'little death'.

May 1, 2005
Unscored

Vote (21)

Patton (1970)

3* General. 4* film.

Aug 31, 2003
Scored 4/5

Vote (21)

Godfather, The (1972)

Like father, like Don.

Apr 4, 2003
Scored 4/5

Vote (21)

Gone With The Wind (1939)

Scarlett pregnant, Butler dunnit.

Mar 28, 2004
Scored 4/5

Vote (20)

Shampoo (1975)

Beatty curls up, dyes.

Oct 22, 2003
Scored 1/5

Vote (20)

Moulin Rouge! (2001)

Dying diva's nothing Toulouse.

Feb 13, 2003
Scored 4/5

Vote (20)

Omen, The (1976)

Old Nick jackal-son.

Feb 15, 2005
Scored 6/5

Vote (20)

Memento (2000)

Complicated plot, take notes.

Jan 3, 2003
Scored 5/5

Vote (19)

Psychomania (1973)

Brat out of Hell.

Mar 18, 2004
Scored 3/5

Vote (19)

American Pie (1999)

Boy meats apple pie.

Sep 28, 2003
Scored 2/5

Vote (19)

Planet Of The Apes (1968)

Luckily, monkeys speak English.

Jan 3, 2003
Scored 4/5

Vote (19)

Fritz The Cat (1972)

Sex and the kitty.

Aug 24, 2004
Scored 3/5

Vote (19)

Withnail & I (1987)

Grant has fine whines.

Apr 3, 2003
Scored 3/5

Vote (19)

GoodFellas (1990)

Pesci's a funny guy.

Feb 9, 2003
Scored 5/5

Vote (18)

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

Arrrhh be back.

Nov 4, 2006
Scored 3/5

Vote (18)

Untouchables, The (1987)

Jock, Ness, mobster.

Feb 3, 2005
Scored 3/5

Vote (18)

Last Legion, The (2007)

Firth Knight.

Nov 1, 2007
Scored 3/5

Vote (18)

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

Without Diesel, vehicle stalls.

Aug 30, 2003
Scored 2/5

Vote (17)

Babette's Feast (1987)

Much ado about noshing.

Jan 11, 2006
Scored 4/5

Vote (17)

Il Postino (1994)

Poet improves postman's delivery.

May 16, 2005
Scored 6/5

Vote (17)

Kind Hearts And Coronets (1949)

Price downs eight Guinnesses.

May 9, 2005
Scored 6/5

Vote (17)

You've Got Mail (1998)

'Shop Around Corner' E-hashed.

Apr 2, 2003
Scored 2/5

Vote (17)

Coyote Ugly (2000)

'Cocktail' with extra tail.

Jul 15, 2004
Scored 1/5

Vote (17)

Fight Club (1999)

Even anarchists have rules.

Dec 23, 2002
Scored 6/5

Vote (17)

Undead (2003)

G'day of the dead.

May 1, 2005
Unscored

Vote (17)

Secret Of The Incas (1954)

Heston's Machu posturing.

Aug 20, 2004
Scored 1/5

Vote (16)

Escape From New York (1981)

One-Eyed snake stands proud.

Apr 1, 2003
Scored 4/5

Vote (16)

Shining, The (1980)

237 scarier than 101.

Apr 7, 2004
Scored 6/5

Vote (16)

Dirty Harry (1971)

Clint Eastwood's magnum opus.

Oct 30, 2003
Scored 5/5

Vote (16)

Little Shop Of Horrors (1986)

Beware; plant, cross, sings.

Mar 4, 2004
Scored 4/5

Vote (16)

Mary Poppins (1964)

Take insulin before viewing.

Mar 20, 2003
Scored 5/5

Vote (16)

Airplane! (1980)

Autopilot rises to occasion.

Mar 9, 2003
Scored 5/5

Vote (15)

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (2005)

Depp takes all, sorts.

Nov 30, 2005
Scored 3/5

Vote (15)

Good Morning Vietnam (1987)

CO KO's GI DJ.

Jul 19, 2004
Scored 3/5

Vote (15)

O (2001)

Teen tragedy of amoor.

Nov 28, 2005
Unscored

Vote (15)

Jurassic Park (1993)

T-Rex, 20th century toys.

Oct 22, 2003
Scored 3/5

Vote (15)

Piglet's Big Movie (2003)

Introvert's a little rasher.

Sep 17, 2004
Scored 3/5

Vote (15)

Bowling For Columbine (2002)

Gun culture - ultimate oxymoron.

Feb 3, 2005
Scored 4/5

Vote (15)

Crucible, The (1996)

Massachusettsian machinations mirror Macarthyism.

Mar 6, 2006
Scored 3/5

Vote (15)

Erotic Adventures Of The Three Musketeers, The (1992)

Thrust, parry, thrust thrust..

Feb 14, 2005
Unscored

Vote (15)

Regarding Henry (1991)

Moral: Shoot more lawyers.

Mar 4, 2003
Scored 3/5

Vote (15)

Wild, The (2006)

Saving pride-cub Ryan.

Jun 8, 2006
Unscored

Vote (15)

Everlasting Piece, An (2000)

Toupee or not toupee.

Apr 29, 2005
Unscored

Vote (15)

Return Of The Seven (1966)

Yul, be back.

Jun 18, 2007
Scored 3/5

Vote (15)

Risky Business (1983)

Cruise left 'Ho Alone.

Sep 8, 2004
Scored 2/5

Vote (15)

Johnny English (2003)

Credit card advert swiped.

Apr 25, 2003
Scored 2/5

Vote (14)

See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989)

Deaf, blind. And dumb

Dec 6, 2003
Scored 1/5

Vote (14)

Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

How many scary sp00ks?

Mar 15, 2004
Scored 2/5

Vote (14)

Hot Fuzz (2007)

Straight Pegg, around hole.

Mar 17, 2007
Scored 4/5

Vote (14)

Michael Collins (1996)

Neeson's Fein mess.

Apr 11, 2004
Unscored

Vote (14)

Miami Vice (2006)

It's Sonny in Miami.

Jun 14, 2006
Unscored

Vote (14)

Warriors, The (1979)

Get Beck to Coney.

Jul 11, 2004
Scored 5/5

Vote (14)

Four Weddings And A Funeral (1994)

Four matched, one dispatched.

Sep 19, 2003
Scored 4/5

Vote (13)

Maid In Manhattan (2002)

Pretty fat-arsed woman.

Jun 8, 2003
Unscored

Vote (13)

Message To Love: The Isle Of Wight Festival (1997)

The Wight Stuff.

Mar 31, 2006
Scored 3/5

Vote (13)

Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King, The (2003)

Smeagol falls for precious.

Apr 9, 2004
Scored 6/5

Vote (13)

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street (2007)

A bloody close shave.

Feb 6, 2006
Scored 4/5

Vote (13)

39 Steps, The (1935)

Cops search for Donat.

Aug 3, 2003
Scored 4/5

Vote (13)

Ali (2001)

Will Smith's 'Raging butterfly'.

Mar 7, 2003
Scored 2/5

Vote (13)

Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)

Another Shaggy- dog story.

May 24, 2004
Scored 1/5

Vote (13)

Ice Cold In Alex (1958)

Worlds best oasis. Probably.

Apr 16, 2003
Scored 3/5

Vote (13)

Sin City (2005)

Marv's night to dismember.

Jun 20, 2005
Scored 6/5

Vote (13)

Soccer As Never Before (1971)

The times of Best.

May 17, 2006
Unscored

Vote (13)

Football Factory, The (2004)

Laddies sing The Blues.

Feb 23, 2006
Unscored

Vote (12)

Gladiator (2000)

Crowe's in Maximus overdrive.

Feb 16, 2003
Scored 6/5

Vote (12)

Ring (1998)

Video encourages well-being?

Feb 19, 2006
Scored 5/5

Vote (12)

Wind In The Willows, The (1987)

A 'Wind' that blows.

May 5, 2006
Scored 2/5

Vote (12)

Dentist, The (1932)

The Drilling Fields.

Mar 22, 2006
Scored 3/5

Vote (12)

Bandit Queen (1994)

Die cast, Caste die.

Nov 10, 2003
Scored 3/5

Vote (12)

Everlasting Piece, An (2000)

Northern Irish piece process.

Nov 1, 2006
Unscored

Vote (12)

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