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| Everything including kitchen sinks. |
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| Selfish bitch hogs float. |
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| Excess ice spoils cocktails. |
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| Problems: tip of iceberg. |
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| Leo gets sinking feeling. |
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| Ice, sink. Therefore Titan(ic). |
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| Iceberg, passengers dead ahead. |
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| The Hidden-berg disaster. |
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| Diamond forever. Jack isn't. |
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| Crook liner. Grand stinker. |
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| Breasts save Titanic bore. |
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| Hot romance unexpectedly chilled. |
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| Dawson becomes Jack Frost. |
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| Iceberg harmed during filming. |
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| Over time, Rose wrinkles. |
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| Kate's date drowns. Frown. |
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| Hubris, berg, shark bait. |
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| Lifeboat calculations concern Winslet. |
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| Winslet's wiles win wanderer. |
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| Iceberg stands it's ground. |
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| Eejits play violins throughout. |
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| 'Unsinkable' unthinkable. |
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| Kate's diamond geezer freezes. |
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| Galley serves iceberg lettuce. |
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| Kate: 'Goodbye!' Leo: *gurgle*. |
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| Molly Brown doesn't drown. |
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| Safe holds treasured chest. |
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| Naughtical Jack draws abreast. |
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| Leo- King of 'Waterworld'? |
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| Director's ego dwarfs iceberg. |
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| Winslet redefines 'maiden voyage'. |
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| Rose: Sinking man's crumpet. |
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| Huge floater gets flushed. |
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| Ismay's dismayed; runs, Hydes. |
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| Dawson drowns, Rose morose. |
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| Disaster: a-band-on ship. |
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