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Tori (4712)
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Conan The Westy (4602)
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bife (4541)
Father, Faithful Friend, Fwiffer
Reviews by 'Conan The Westy'
Current status of
Movie deity (Bronze)
with a total of
4602
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
Alien (1979)
The Talented Ms. Ripley.
Jan 4, 2004
Scored 5/5
Vote
(86)
Wedding Planner, The (2001)
J-Lo's prior experience useful.
Jul 18, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(79)
Sound Of Music, The (1965)
Shut yer Trapps.
Jul 16, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(74)
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
Dead Man: Walken.
Sep 14, 2004
Scored 4/5
Vote
(63)
XXx (2002)
Sequels: YYY and ZZZ.
Jul 19, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(60)
Bourne Supremacy, The (2004)
Damon is still Bourne.
Jul 8, 2004
Scored 4/5
Vote
(59)
Alive (1993)
Flight serves finger food.
Jul 19, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(54)
Ring, The (2002)
Video's late fee excessive.
Dec 9, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(54)
Thelma And Louise (1991)
Women driver theories upheld.
Aug 12, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(54)
Dogma (1999)
God's female? How ironic!
Nov 9, 2003
Unscored
Vote
(52)
JFK (1991)
Stone becomes grassy know-all.
Aug 19, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(52)
Strictly Ballroom (1992)
Tight pants = restricted ballroom.
Jul 16, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(52)
Lion King, The (1994)
Today's Gnus: Mufasa trampled.
Jul 15, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(51)
Cast Away (2000)
Volleyball outacts Oscar winner.
Jul 21, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(47)
Corpse Bride (2005)
Romancing the bone.
Aug 17, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(46)
Spaceballs (1987)
Use the farce, Mel.
Sep 9, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(45)
Passion Of The Christ, The (2004)
Crucifixion scene, sans whistling.
Jan 26, 2004
Scored 5/5
Vote
(43)
Dirty Harry (1971)
Punk receives counting lesson.
Nov 10, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(42)
Little Mermaid, The (1989)
Decisions: wife or sushi?
Mar 16, 2004
Scored 5/5
Vote
(39)
Calendar Girls (2003)
Pinups with acute angina.
Jan 26, 2004
Scored 4/5
Vote
(38)
Grease (1978)
Become slut, get guy.
Jul 18, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(38)
Kurt & Courtney (1998)
I'm feeling suicidal. Nevermind.
Jul 21, 2004
Unscored
Vote
(36)
Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King, The (2003)
22 minutes of farewells.
Jan 2, 2004
Scored 5/5
Vote
(36)
Showgirls (1995)
Bum, titty-titty, bum.
Nov 28, 2003
Scored 0/5
Vote
(35)
Wimbledon (2004)
Wimbledon't.
Dec 15, 2004
Scored 4/5
Vote
(35)
Inspector Gadget (1999)
Go go Gadget... please!
Jul 29, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(34)
My Girl (1991)
Culkin misunderstands 'Be yourself'.
Mar 16, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(34)
Striptease (1996)
Demi does dull as.
Jul 18, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
(34)
Blow (2001)
Coke is it??
Jul 21, 2003
Unscored
Vote
(32)
Mean Girls (2004)
Girls = sugar and spite.
Jun 29, 2004
Scored 5/5
Vote
(32)
Soylent Green (1973)
Humans: other white meat.
Sep 13, 2003
Unscored
Vote
(32)
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Cowpokes poke each other.
Aug 28, 2004
Scored 2/5
Vote
(31)
Footloose (1984)
White Penn Can't Dance.
Jun 6, 2004
Scored 4/5
Vote
(31)
Shrek 2 (2004)
Talking donkey becomes hoarse.
Jul 3, 2004
Scored 5/5
Vote
(31)
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
Horseman waives Miranda's rights.
Sep 14, 2004
Scored 4/5
Vote
(31)
Usual Suspects, The (1995)
Kobayashi's really a mug.
Aug 12, 2003
Scored 6/5
Vote
(31)
Basic Instinct 2 (2006)
Crossed, uncrossed, YAWN, crossed.
Apr 5, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(30)
Christine (1983)
Plymouth should be repossessed.
Jun 23, 2004
Unscored
Vote
(30)
Finding Forrester (2000)
Black Will Hunting.
Jul 26, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(30)
Jackass: The Movie (2002)
Live action Darwin Awards.
Jan 9, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(30)
Living Daylights, The (1987)
Bond rides cello, cellist.
Jul 29, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(30)
Mulholland Drive (2001)
Watts going on?
Jul 16, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(30)
Supergirl (1984)
'S' covers bumpy terrain.
Jul 16, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(30)
Total Recall (1990)
Arnie picks his nose.
Jul 27, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(30)
Breast Men (1997)
Boob the Builders can.
Nov 17, 2003
Unscored
Vote
(29)
Coyote Ugly (2000)
'Cocktail' with breasts.
Jul 28, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
(29)
Midsummer Night's Dream, A (1999)
Bottom's really an ass.
Jan 6, 2004
Scored 4/5
Vote
(29)
Sideways (2004)
Church promotes pre-marital sex.
Apr 13, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(29)
Cat In The Hat, The (2003)
Crap in the hat.
Nov 29, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
(28)
Christine (1983)
Hell hath this Fury...
Jan 9, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(28)
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
Guerillas 'n' the myth.
Jul 5, 2007
Scored 6/5
Vote
(28)
Police Academy (1984)
This podium sucks!!
Jul 30, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(28)
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
Needs Diesel to run.
Jul 19, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(27)
Aviator, The (2004)
Urine, the movies.
Apr 16, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(27)
Evita (1996)
Madonna sings; everyone cries.
Jul 19, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(27)
Garfield: The Movie (2004)
Bill Furry.
Jul 11, 2004
Scored 3/5
Vote
(27)
Pet Sematary (1989)
Cat gains 10th life.
Feb 26, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(27)
Ring (1998)
This video's no PAL.
May 7, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(27)
Tootsie (1982)
Hoffman's Best Actress Oscar.
Jul 20, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(27)
Alive (1993)
Flyin' young cannibals.
Aug 16, 2004
Scored 4/5
Vote
(26)
Braveheart (1995)
Wallace loses his grommits.
Apr 16, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(26)
Citizen Kane (1941)
Childhood memory fuels furnace.
Apr 6, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(26)
Fish Called Wanda, A (1988)
KKKen kkkills cccute cccanines.
Jul 29, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(26)
Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)
Latifah has mammoth butt.
Apr 16, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(26)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Missed honeymoon. Bride ballistic.
Oct 14, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(26)
Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
The Ents go marching...
Mar 26, 2004
Scored 5/5
Vote
(26)
Mask (1985)
Ugly? Live with bikers.
Sep 5, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(26)
School Of Rock, The (2003)
'Spinal Tap' with class.
Nov 13, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(26)
Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981)
Me Tarzan, you 10.
Jul 25, 2003
Unscored
Vote
(26)
Trainspotting (1996)
Most tracks on arms.
Mar 24, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(26)
Alien (1979)
Space screams still audible.
Oct 29, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(25)
Along Came Polly (2004)
Cracker wants a Polly.
Jul 25, 2004
Scored 3/5
Vote
(25)
Da Vinci Code, The (2006)
Art, Neveu.
May 5, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(25)
Excalibur (1981)
Watery tart dispenses sword.
Jul 22, 2003
Scored 6/5
Vote
(25)
Finding Nemo (2003)
Shark falls off wagon.
Aug 28, 2003
Scored 6/5
Vote
(25)
Jurassic Park (1993)
T-Rex ignores 'Engaged' sign.
May 17, 2004
Scored 5/5
Vote
(25)
March Of The Penguins (2005)
Fat chicks looking cute.
Aug 2, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
(25)
My Girl (1991)
Bees 1, Culkin 0.
Aug 13, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(25)
People Vs. Larry Flynt, The (1996)
Woody can't stand up.
Oct 29, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(25)
Shanghai Surprise (1986)
Madonna missionary? Position denied.
Jul 26, 2003
Scored 0/5
Vote
(25)
Story Of Menstruation, The (1946)
The original 'Crimson Tide'.
Apr 26, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(25)
Two Hands (1999)
Heath can't balance Ledger.
Sep 11, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(25)
Wizard Of Oz, The (1939)
Gale caught by tornado.
Jun 29, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(25)
Blame It On Rio (1984)
I blame the script.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(24)
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
Vlad desires impaling Winona.
Oct 23, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(24)
Chocolate Sperm (2001)
Added inducement to swallow.
Mar 13, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(24)
Days Of Thunder (1990)
Trickle becomes annoying drip.
May 10, 2004
Scored 2/5
Vote
(24)
Fargo (1996)
Chipper makes 'criminal smoothy'.
Oct 17, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(24)
Great Gatsby, The (1974)
Jay pushes up Daisy's...
Nov 28, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(24)
Images Of Indians: How Hollywood Stereotyped The Native American (2003)
Hollywood stereotypes Indians? How!
May 9, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(24)
Song Of The South (1946)
Zippitty doo dated.
Feb 25, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(24)
Sybil (1976)
Woman gets group discount.
Dec 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(24)
This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
Cucumber triggers security scare.
Jul 16, 2003
Scored 6/5
Vote
(24)
Alice In Wonderland (1951)
Insane tyrant recommends decapitation.
Jul 15, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(23)
Apocalypse Pooh (1987)
Smell of morning Pooh.
May 21, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(23)
Arsenic And Old Lace (1944)
Euthan-aunt-ia.
Oct 19, 2004
Scored 2/5
Vote
(23)
Basic Instinct (1992)
Stone takes her pick.
Aug 3, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(23)
Born Free (1966)
Orphan regains her pride.
Nov 14, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(23)
Bulletproof Monk (2003)
'Dude, Where's My Kar'.
Nov 14, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(23)
Desperately Seeking Susan (1985)
Desperately seeking refund.
Nov 25, 2003
Unscored
Vote
(23)
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