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Reviews by 'Nick'
Current status of Movie guru with a total of 110 reviews published to date.
Order by  Film Name Review Votes Review Score Chronological Order Show 
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Jason hates Destiny's Child.
Aug 26, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Blue Velvet (1986)
Rossellini sings about textiles.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Casino (1995)
Slots of violence.
Sep 11, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Matrix, The (1999)
Keanu Reeves: Unplugged.
Aug 26, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Lost Highway (1997)
Ugly dwarf phones himself.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Alive (1993)
Frozen friends for dinner.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Bowling For Columbine (2002)
Exposes trigger happy Americans.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Cape Fear (1991)
DeNiro no Side-show Bob.
Sep 11, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Elephant Man, The (1980)
Ugly man makes friends.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Orgazmo (1997)
Mormon needs stunt cock.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Guns, gore, gimp, great.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Rocky (1976)
Rocky climbs stairs, jumps.
Sep 25, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)
Luke unknowingly considers incest.
Sep 25, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Straight Story, The (1999)
Pensioner on lawng journey.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Terror Firmer (1999)
Sadistic killer pickles penises.
Oct 13, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Zoolander (2001)
Models save Malaysian President.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Billy Madison (1995)
Adam Sandler promotes incontinence.
Sep 25, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Boogie Nights (1997)
Big dick equals success.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Braveheart (1995)
Gibson's ass influences others.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Bringing Out The Dead (1999)
Ambulance driver dates junkie.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Bully (2001)
Over-sexed kids kill friend.
Aug 18, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
Milk, the rapist's drink.
Sep 23, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Ed (1996)
Joey monkeys around.
Sep 23, 2003
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Fight Club (1999)
Schizo fighter makes soap.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Go (1999)
Drug-induced cat fear.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Gods Must Be Crazy, The (1980)
Bushmen in Coke commercial.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Mr. Deeds (2002)
Buscemi eats strange pizzas.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Rosemary's Baby (1968)
Cassavetes supports Satanic impregnation.
Sep 23, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Schizopolis (1996)
Soderbergh invents new language.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Taxi Driver (1976)
Pimp killing restores self-confidence.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Total Recall (1990)
Hi-tech booger looks painful.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Toy Story 2 (1999)
Barbie lends helping hand.
Sep 23, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Trees Lounge (1996)
Buscemi drinks, drives van.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992)
Fat Jacques tortures prostitutes.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
War Games (1983)
Video game paralyzes America.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
2001 - A Space Odyssey (1968)
Pretentious space head-fuck.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (1)   
28 Days Later (2002)
London deserted, tries Manchester.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Aguirre: The Wrath Of God (1972)
Kinski angry, people die.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Am�lie (2001)
Cute girl becomes vigilante.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Army Of Darkness (1992)
Boom-stick saves Ash.
Sep 23, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Big Lebowski, The (1998)
Rugged man loses rug.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Bio-Dome (1996)
Pauly Shore saves planet.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Blade (1998)
Bloody good vampire rave.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Braindead (1992)
Zombie granny eats dog.
Sep 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Buffalo Soldiers (2001)
Drug dealing soldiers die.
Sep 23, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Carrie (1976)
Mother disgusted at breasts.
Sep 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Dancer In The Dark (2000)
Blind aspiring actress dies.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Daredevil (2003)
Blind superhero canes evil.
Aug 5, 2003
Unscored
 
  Vote (1)   
Dune (1984)
Agent Cooper in space.
Aug 25, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Eraserhead (1977)
Lynch's weird, beautiful debut.
Sep 11, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas (1998)
Drug-fuelled sensory assault.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Fitzcarraldo (1982)
Opera fanatic vs nature.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Friday The 13th (1980)
Angry mother kills teenagers.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Friday The 13th Part 2 (1981)
Mother's head, good ornament.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Friday The 13th Part III (1982)
Jason finds THE mask.
Aug 25, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Friday The 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Jason goes on holiday.
Aug 24, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Friday The 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
No Jason, just copycat.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Ginger Snaps (2000)
Sexy werewolf gets busy.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Gleaming The Cube (1989)
Slater out-skates Vietnamese criminals.
Oct 10, 2004
Unscored
 
  Vote (1)   
Gummo (1997)
Surreal, realist hillbilly masterpiece.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Happiness (1998)
Semen makes good glue.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Heart Of Glass (1976)
Ruby secret destroys village.
Dec 11, 2004
Unscored
 
  Vote (1)   
I'm Not Scared (2003)
Hole-y boy is saved.
Jul 27, 2004
Unscored
 
  Vote (1)   
Jackie Brown (1997)
DeNiro wastes wasted Fonda.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
People inherit Jason's soul.
Aug 18, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Julien Donkey-Boy (1999)
Wrestling obsessions and incest
Oct 13, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
Prostitute tries saving drunk.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Messenger: The Story Of Joan Of Arc, The (1999)
Hot Milla gets burnt.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Mulholland Drive (2001)
Surreal criticism of Hollywood.
Aug 24, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, A (1987)
Freddy Krueger tries puppetry.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (1)   
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
Mute Indian can speak.
Sep 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Persona (1966)
Silent actress infuriates nurse.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Colourful criminals cursing constantly.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Silence Of The Lambs, The (1991)
Hopkins gives wine advice.
Sep 23, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Starship Troopers (1997)
Dutch pervert's fascist propaganda.
Sep 11, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Texas Chain Saw Massacre, The (1974)
Petrol shortage causes death.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Wedding Singer, The (1998)
Sad Sandler sings songs.
Dec 11, 2004
Unscored
 
  Vote (1)   
Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974)
Pre-hooker Foster impresses.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote    
American History X (1998)
Rape changes Nazi's views.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote    
Billy Elliot (2000)
Cynical father accepts ballet.
Sep 25, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote    
Christine (1983)
Crazy car causes carnage.
Feb 19, 2008
Unscored
 
  Vote    
Chuck & Buck (2000)
Immature stalker writes play.
Aug 24, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote    
Deer Hunter, The (1978)
Soldiers fight gambling problem.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote    
Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)
Aliens lose continium transfunctioner.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote    
Erin Brockovich (2000)
Woman finds dirty water.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote    
Even Dwarfs Started Small (1970)
Dwarves revolt, crucifies monkey.
Sep 23, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote    
Fifth Element, The (1997)
Diva's death endangers Earth.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote    
Friday The 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
Jason Finally finishes Jarvis.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote    
Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)
Telekinetic girl frees Jason.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote    
Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
Corey Feldman survives Jason.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote    
High Fidelity (2000)
Men argue about music.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote    
Hulk (2003)
Green meanie means well.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote    
It (1990)
Scary balloon-wielding clown.
Feb 19, 2008
Unscored
 
  Vote    
Jason X (2001)
Futuristic Jason kicks ass.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote    
Kafka (1991)
Author exposes cruel experiments.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote    
Karate Kid, Part II, The (1986)
Daniel-San kicks ass abroad.
Sep 23, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote    
Misery (1990)
Author axed by fan.
Feb 19, 2008
Unscored
 
  Vote    
Monsters, Inc. (2001)
Funky monsters lose door.
Sep 23, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote    
Omen, The (1976)
Damien, scared of churches.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote    
Pretty Woman (1990)
Blatantly promoting prostitute lifestyle.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote    
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