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Ford battles robots, conscience.
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246 kather*ne (137)
247 Bart (137)
248 SmokestackJones (135)
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suffers delusions of adequacy
Reviews by 'Bart'
Current status of Movie guru with a total of 137 reviews published to date.
Order by  Film Name Review Votes Review Score Chronological Order Show 
Lost Boys, The (1987)
Bill S. Preston, Vampire.
Nov 27, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (20)   
Memento (2000)
.elbattegrofnU
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (18)   
Dune (1984)
'Tremors' with a budget.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (12)   
Y Tu Mam� Tambi�n (2001)
'American Paella'.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (12)   
Adventures Of Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert, The (1994)
Gay Pearce, Terence Camp.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (11)   
Top Gun (1986)
Ego cleared for take-off.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (10)   
Matrix Reloaded, The (2003)
Trinity uploads Neo's hardware.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (9)   
Young Guns (1988)
'The Mild Bunch'.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (9)   
Knight's Tale, A (2001)
Moron ignores hot blacksmith.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Dogma (1999)
God gives stoner boner.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (7)   
One Million Years B.C. (1966)
The cleavage time forgot.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Outland (1981)
'Sci-Fi Noon'.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Pi (1998)
If Lynch studied algebra...
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (6)   
American Psycho (2000)
Genesis fan: obviously psychotic.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (5)   
American Werewolf In London, An (1981)
Werewolf, corpse watch porn.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Batman (1966)
Male corset saves day.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Deep Blue Sea (1999)
Saffron's underwear: Great. White.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Groundhog Day (1993)
Comedy withstands repeated viewing.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Muppets From Space (1999)
Piggy tries Gonzo journalism.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Piano, The (1993)
Keitel's pianist exposed.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Vampires (1998)
Carpenter finishes career coffin.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Astronaut's Wife, The (1999)
'Rosemary's Alien'.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
Keanu's accent really sucks.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Bring It On (2000)
Dunst shakes her pom-poms.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas (1998)
Men take vacation, drugs.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Singin' In The Rain (1952)
Kelly makes Reynolds wet.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Two Girls And A Guy (1997)
Heather Graham goes Downey.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
American Pie (1999)
Virgin beds experimental flutist.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Appartement, L' (1996)
Le Hitchcock.
Oct 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Barbarella (1968)
Fonda shags, saves universe.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Chaplin (1992)
Junkie plays tramp perfectly.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Once Upon A Time In Mexico (2003)
Three arms, no eyes.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Planet Of The Apes (2001)
Sensitive study of bestiality.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Star Trek: Generations (1994)
Shatner boredly goes.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Swingers (1996)
'Diner' for Tarantino generation.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
X2 (2003)
Cumming mutates into German.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Air America (1990)
Downey against drug dealing?
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Am�lie (2001)
French Hepburn becomes altruist.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Angel Heart (1987)
Rouke discovers DEEP south.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Buffalo Soldiers (2001)
Fire doesn't kill Pheonix.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Citizen Kane (1941)
Man loses sled, morals.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
Ang refutes gravity law.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Dead Man (1995)
Dead accountant befriends indian.
Sep 17, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Dead Ringers (1988)
Gynacologists share client's vagina.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Deer Hunter, The (1978)
Man kills deer, self.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Misfit makes topiary trendy.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Fifth Element, The (1997)
Future's bright, future's orange.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Gift, The (2000)
Katie reveals lovely gifts.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle, The (1980)
McLaren disappears up ass.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Hulk (2003)
Ang further rejects physics.
Aug 4, 2003
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Hunt For Red October, The (1990)
Name's Bond. Vladamir Bond.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (2)   
King Kong (1933)
Manhattan visit ends disastrously.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
MASH (1970)
Military surgeons' cutting satire.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Matrix, The (1999)
Philosophical mobile phone advert.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Metropolis (1927)
Bi-planes in future. Visionary?
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Mystery Train (1989)
Buscemi clashes with Strummer.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Naked Lunch (1991)
Man talks to typewriters.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Nightmare On Elm Street, A (1984)
Depp swallowed by bed.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Pitch Black (2000)
Cast kept in dark.
Oct 11, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Planet Of The Apes (1968)
NRA spokesman condemns violence?
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Repulsion (1965)
'Home Alone' for adults.
Oct 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Rocky Horror Picture Show, The (1975)
Sarandon Currys transvestite's favour.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Suspiria (1977)
'Fame' meets 'The Exorcist'.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Wonka attempts re-animation.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Abyss, The (1989)
Aliens resolve marital differences.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Adaptation. (2002)
Scriptwriter plays with himself.
Nov 17, 2006
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Agent Cody Banks (2003)
Malcolm in a muddle.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Alien (1979)
Ripley battles monster phallus.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Aliens (1986)
Sigourney mistaken for man.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Annie Hall (1977)
Walken's scary walk-on.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (1997)
'Casino Royale', only funny.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Batman Returns (1992)
Batman fights penguin, emotions.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Blade Runner (1982)
Ford battles robots, conscience.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Charlie's Angels (2000)
Angels kick, shake ass.
Aug 4, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
Angels uphold justice, cleavage.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Commando (1985)
Arnold battles kidnappers, plausibility.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Cube (1997)
Maths saves autistic boy.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Deconstructing Harry (1997)
Bergman + cock jokes.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Devils, The (1971)
Reed burns, Redgrave masterbates.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Dr. T And The Women (2000)
Gynecologist explores women.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Fly, The (1986)
Scientist attempts insect politics.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Girl, Interrupted (1999)
Imprisoned Winona steals show
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Godfather: Part III, The (1990)
Sofia joins family business.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Haine, La (1995)
Amelie's boyfriend directs masterpiece.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Irr�versible (2002)
Revenge, then rape.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Jaws (1975)
Shark can't kill friendship.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Killer sword, freaky feet.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Lost Highway (1997)
Pullman loses wife, mind.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Luzhin Defence, The (2000)
Turturro 'pawns' over Watson.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Metropolis (2001)
Movie predicts jazz revival.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Mulholland Drive (2001)
Logic gets a Lynching.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Performance (1970)
Jagger plays washed-out rocker.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (2003)
Depp, Rush: Overactors Anonymous.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Rules Of Attraction, The (2002)
Dawson gets role reversal.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
Spider-Man (2002)
Museum visit creates super-hero.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (1)   
X-Men (2000)
Mutants develop 'sexy' gene.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (1)   
10 (1979)
Dudley gets on tits.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote    
Alien� (1992)
Alien fights convict's club.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote    
Arlington Road (1999)
Terrorist intrigues, kills neighbour.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote    
Back To The Future (1985)
Time traveller's oedipal nightmare.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote    
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