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214
freewalk (174)
215
Wheeljak (173)
216
gobsmacker (172)
I'm not that guy.
Reviews by 'Wheeljak'
Current status of
Movie guru
with a total of
173
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
Fame (1980)
Special school for leotards.
May 10, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(21)
Aeon Flux (2005)
Blades of grass: literally.
Aug 17, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(19)
Metropolis (1927)
Future's a living Hel.
May 18, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(14)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
88 divided by one.
May 10, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(11)
Silkwood (1983)
Cher-nobyl.
May 22, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(8)
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
Apparently, 'toons can crossbreed.
May 9, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(8)
Super Mario Bros. (1993)
Mario goes down toilet.
May 9, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
(7)
Crying Game, The (1992)
A snake in Ireland.
May 9, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(6)
Popeye (1980)
Olive Oyl loves seaman.
May 12, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(6)
Beetlejuice (1988)
Winona has Sixth Sense.
May 8, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(5)
Craft, The (1996)
The coven is hot.
May 11, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(5)
Days Of Thunder (1990)
Cruise without right turns.
May 12, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(5)
Demolition Man (1993)
Taco Bell's longest advertisement.
May 16, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(5)
Gattaca (1997)
Hawke's genes don't fit.
May 10, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(5)
Scanners (1981)
Psychic Fiends Network.
May 22, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(5)
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Walking tanks appallingly vulnerable.
May 12, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
(5)
Day After, The (1983)
A kinder, gentler 'Threads'.
May 15, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(4)
Karate Kid III, The (1989)
Karate 'Kid' pushing 30.
May 11, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(4)
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Anakin builds gay droid.
May 12, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(4)
Terminator, The (1984)
Time-travelling streakers clash.
May 26, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(4)
Chronicles Of Riddick, The (2004)
Fast and the Furyan.
May 11, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(3)
Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Slowest common denominator.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Freeway (1996)
Little Red Riding Hoodlum.
May 10, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(3)
Journey Of Natty Gann, The (1985)
Livin' la vida locomotive.
May 11, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(3)
Monster's Ball (2001)
Billy buried in Berry.
Aug 31, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Rocky Balboa (2006)
Adrian doesn't protest fight.
Jan 19, 2007
Scored 4/5
Vote
(3)
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)
Klingon blood resembles Pepto-Bismol.
May 9, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(3)
TRON (1982)
Tron flings deadly frisbees.
May 9, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(3)
Volcano (1997)
Hollywood's steamy underbelly.
May 22, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(3)
Wild Things (1998)
Neve screws fully clothed.
May 12, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(3)
Wild Things (1998)
Denise bares 'wild things'.
May 12, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(3)
2010 (1984)
Monolith purpose best unexplained.
May 9, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(2)
Aeon Flux (2005)
Four-handed woman: handy ally.
Aug 17, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Aliens (1986)
Maternal instincts empower Ripley.
May 17, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Better Off Dead... (1985)
Patty Van Halen.
May 12, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Boomerang (1992)
Strang� outs entire restaurant.
May 12, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
Country Of My Skull (2004)
Post-apartheid depression.
May 12, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
Jade blade swayed.
May 23, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Ghost World (2001)
Busty teens deride everything.
May 9, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Harold & Kumar Get The Munchies (2004)
Sliders inspire epic quest.
May 9, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
Helter Skelter (1976)
The evil X-men.
May 22, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Matrix Reloaded, The (2003)
Agent Smith: Unplugged.
May 12, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Next Karate Kid, The (1994)
My Fair Lady-San.
Aug 17, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Popeye (1980)
Spinach causes distended forearms.
May 12, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(2)
Red Dawn (1984)
Heartland hicks frustrate Commies.
May 9, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
Six Degrees Of Separation (1993)
The Fresh Queen.
May 22, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Doctor Octopus can't swim.
Feb 3, 2007
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Three Men And A Baby (1987)
Magnum P'd on.
May 30, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Tsotsi (2005)
Baby restores thug's humanity.
May 12, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Ultraviolet (2006)
Exposure to Ultraviolet harmful.
Jun 19, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
(2)
V For Vendetta (2006)
V becomes Evey's [tor]mentor.
Aug 20, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Aeon Flux (2005)
Oren's abhorin' pregnant Bregnans.
Aug 17, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Alien (1979)
Nostromo computer: bad Mother.
May 18, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Alien: Resurrection (1997)
Ripley cloned. Audience clowned.
May 17, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Alien� (1992)
Xenomorph infests penitent penitentiary.
May 17, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Back To The Future (1985)
Fun DMC.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Battlefield Earth: A Saga Of The Year 3000 (2000)
Sci-fi: Scientology Fiasco.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Better Off Dead... (1985)
'Liqueur' explodes Ricky's mom.
May 12, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Boa vs. Python (2004)
Snake, snake, boobs.
May 26, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
(1)
Cannonball Run, The (1981)
Martin wears rosary bleeds.
May 9, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Catch Me If You Can (2002)
Leo's frequent liar miles.
Jun 8, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Crumb (1994)
Crumb doodles, then diddles.
May 12, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Crumb (1994)
Ode to zaftig women.
May 12, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Escape From L.A. (1996)
Carpenter pissin' on Plissken.
May 9, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Exorcist, The (1973)
Priest doesn't shun possessions.
May 19, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Fallen (1998)
Mick Jagger possesses people.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Fear Of A Black Hat (1994)
Hats symbolize Black empowerment.
May 27, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Fifth Element, The (1997)
Haute couture saves world.
May 9, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Five Heartbeats, The (1991)
Frontman yields to 'Temptations'.
May 17, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Luther Campbell takes notes.
May 9, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Glory (1989)
Black & blue regiment.
May 23, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Havoc (2005)
Privileged teens play 'gangsta'.
Aug 31, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Heavy Metal (1981)
Animated nudity gratuitously abundant.
May 9, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Highlander (1986)
Immortality's 'Kind of Magic'.
May 17, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
House Of Wax (2005)
Paris penetrated on film.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Jaws 2 (1978)
Jaws jumps the shark.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
Shark enjoys eating Peebles.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Karate Kid, The (1984)
Jersey goombah learns 'waxing'.
May 11, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Cain's kung fu bested.
May 11, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
License To Drive (1988)
Rollergirl digs Corey's wheels.
May 12, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Logan's Run (1976)
Twentysomethings with bejeweled wrists.
Jun 8, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Mannequin: On The Move (1991)
Swanson frozen.
May 11, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Posse (1993)
Guns, Peebles kill people.
May 26, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Private Lessons (1981)
Mature housekeeper molests teenager.
Jun 13, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Puma Man, The (1980)
Serial killer mentors superhero.
May 22, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
(1)
Serpent And The Rainbow, The (1988)
Spiked scrotum stimulates screaming.
Aug 2, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Shaft (1971)
Dick sports phallic name.
May 18, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Shakes The Clown (1992)
Mimes: lowest clown caste.
May 25, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Silent Hill (2006)
Rose's perfume's really strong.
Aug 21, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Silent Hill (2006)
Cultist church barbecue unappetizing.
Aug 21, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Single White Female (1992)
Roommate's a Hedy case.
May 11, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Sixteen Candles (1984)
Molly groped by grandma.
May 10, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Watto draws anti-Semitism allegations.
May 12, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return Of The Jedi (1983)
Fett begins millennial digestion.
May 12, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Superman III (1983)
Superman becomes Stuporman.
May 21, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
Waitress becomes female Rambo.
May 8, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Two Girls And A Guy (1997)
Downey writes nauseating poetry.
May 22, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Unlawful Entry (1992)
Policeman's not good fella.
May 22, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Waiting... (2005)
Genitals improve employee morale.
Jun 3, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Warriors, The (1979)
Cyrus coiffed and offed.
May 9, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
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