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freewalk (174)
215
Wheeljak (173)
216
gobsmacker (172)
I'm not that guy.
Reviews by 'Wheeljak'
Current status of
Movie guru
with a total of
173
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Doctor Octopus can't swim.
Feb 3, 2007
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Rocky Balboa (2006)
Adrian doesn't protest fight.
Jan 19, 2007
Scored 4/5
Vote
(3)
Monster's Ball (2001)
Billy buried in Berry.
Aug 31, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Havoc (2005)
Privileged teens play 'gangsta'.
Aug 31, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Silent Hill (2006)
Cultist church barbecue unappetizing.
Aug 21, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Silent Hill (2006)
Rose's perfume's really strong.
Aug 21, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Silent Hill (2006)
Limbo: lousy phone reception.
Aug 21, 2006
Unscored
Vote
V For Vendetta (2006)
V becomes Evey's [tor]mentor.
Aug 20, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Aeon Flux (2005)
Bregnans disappeared-- like audience.
Aug 17, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Aeon Flux (2005)
Blades of grass: literally.
Aug 17, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(19)
Aeon Flux (2005)
Four-handed woman: handy ally.
Aug 17, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Aeon Flux (2005)
Oren's abhorin' pregnant Bregnans.
Aug 17, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Next Karate Kid, The (1994)
My Fair Lady-San.
Aug 17, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Matrix Revolutions, The (2003)
Many Smiths, few thrills.
Aug 9, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Karate Kid, Part II, The (1986)
Crane pose fails Daniel.
Aug 2, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Serpent And The Rainbow, The (1988)
Spiked scrotum stimulates screaming.
Aug 2, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Serpent And The Rainbow, The (1988)
Mokae steals souls, scenes.
Aug 1, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
Skinny supermodel overpowers monsters.
Jul 31, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Nephew, The (1998)
Nephew is Black Irish.
Jun 29, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Ultraviolet (2006)
Exposure to Ultraviolet harmful.
Jun 19, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
(2)
Spiderbabe (2003)
Spiderbabe spins webs realistically.
Jun 13, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Private Lessons (1981)
Mature housekeeper molests teenager.
Jun 13, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Dead Pool, The (1988)
Carrey's Axl greased.
Jun 8, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Catch Me If You Can (2002)
Leo's frequent liar miles.
Jun 8, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Logan's Run (1976)
Twentysomethings with bejeweled wrists.
Jun 8, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Waiting... (2005)
Genitals improve employee morale.
Jun 3, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Three Men And A Baby (1987)
Magnum P'd on.
May 30, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Fear Of A Black Hat (1994)
Epithet actually uplifting acronym.
May 29, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Fear Of A Black Hat (1994)
Hats symbolize Black empowerment.
May 27, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Terminator, The (1984)
Time-travelling streakers clash.
May 26, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(4)
Catching Trouble (1950)
Cubs scream in terror.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Friday (1995)
Ice Cube gets baked.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Friday (1995)
Fired on day off?
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Opposite Of Sex, The (1998)
Dede removes DD bra.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Independence Day (1996)
Earth's saviour: Cousin Eddie.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
F/X2 (1991)
Puppet kicks assassin's ass.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987)
Leaps shark: single bound.
May 26, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Clerks. (1994)
Man dies attempting autoeroticism.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Brewster's Millions (1985)
Train runs through outfield.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Best In Show (2000)
Superior Canines Taste Victory.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Back To The Future (1985)
Fun DMC.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Conrack (1974)
Conroy teaches the Geechees.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Posse (1993)
Guns, Peebles kill people.
May 26, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
Shark enjoys eating Peebles.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Mission To Mars (2000)
Thin atmosphere's deadly whirlwinds??
May 26, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Boa vs. Python (2004)
Snake, snake, boobs.
May 26, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
(1)
Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Slowest common denominator.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Getaway, The (1994)
Tilly cuckolds dentist husband.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Punisher, The (2004)
Saint sent to Hell.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Marksman, The (2005)
'The Marksman' aims low.
May 26, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
What The #$*! Do We (K)now!? (2004)
Quantum Physics? No, METAphysics!
May 25, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Shakes The Clown (1992)
Mimes: lowest clown caste.
May 25, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Series 7: The Contenders (2001)
The Running Mom.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Jaws 2 (1978)
Jaws jumps the shark.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
House Of Wax (2005)
Paris penetrated on film.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Buffalo 66 (1998)
Pee changes ex-con's life.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Predator (1987)
Monster mutilates multicultural mercenaries.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
What The #$*! Do We (K)now!? (2004)
Physics discussed by psychics.
May 24, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
What The #$*! Do We (K)now!? (2004)
Channelled spirit considered scholar.
May 24, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Superman (1978)
Crystal is Instant Fortress.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
Jade blade swayed.
May 23, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
BloodRayne (2005)
Kristanna burns Meat Loaf.
May 23, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
Glory (1989)
Black & blue regiment.
May 23, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Fallen (1998)
Mick Jagger possesses people.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
One Night Stand (1997)
Snipes' Jungle Fever relapse.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
One, The (2001)
Li's a serial suicider.
May 23, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Walking Tall (2004)
Stick, Rock break bones.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Predator 2 (1990)
The Head-Bone Collector.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Headshot in barracks head.
May 23, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
Battlefield Earth: A Saga Of The Year 3000 (2000)
Sci-fi: Scientology Fiasco.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
Stallone reverses Vietnam defeat.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
AVP: Alien Vs. Predator (2004)
Double-chops vs. dreadlocks.
May 23, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Helter Skelter (1976)
The evil X-men.
May 22, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Wind (1992)
Grey loses nose, career.
May 22, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Silkwood (1983)
Cher-nobyl.
May 22, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(8)
Unlawful Entry (1992)
Policeman's not good fella.
May 22, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Two Girls And A Guy (1997)
Downey writes nauseating poetry.
May 22, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Six Degrees Of Separation (1993)
The Fresh Queen.
May 22, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Scanners (1981)
Psychic Fiends Network.
May 22, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(5)
Barbarella (1968)
Villains Fonda gruesome executions.
May 22, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Village Of The Giants (1965)
Goliaths A-Go-Go!
May 22, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Puma Man, The (1980)
Serial killer mentors superhero.
May 22, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
(1)
Liberty Stands Still (2002)
Playing 'Simon (Phoenix) Says'.
May 22, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Wood, The (1999)
Inglewoodies.
May 22, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Undercover Brother (2002)
Richards: ANY man's Kryptonite.
May 22, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Hustle & Flow (2005)
D-Jay becomes MC.
May 22, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
Sahara (2005)
Goin' back to Mali.
May 22, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Superman II (1980)
Evil Kryptonians resemble Romulans.
May 22, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Volcano (1997)
Hollywood's steamy underbelly.
May 22, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(3)
Superman III (1983)
Superman becomes Stuporman.
May 21, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Street Fighter (1994)
Cheating Raul.
May 20, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
Exorcist, The (1973)
Priest doesn't shun possessions.
May 19, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Still Smokin' (1983)
Stoners discover legal hash.
May 18, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Battlefield Earth: A Saga Of The Year 3000 (2000)
Barbarians battle big Barbarino.
May 18, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Shaft (1971)
Dick sports phallic name.
May 18, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Dolemite (1975)
Rhyming pimp botches karate.
May 18, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Alien (1979)
Nostromo computer: bad Mother.
May 18, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Metropolis (1927)
Future's a living Hel.
May 18, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(14)
Lean On Me (1989)
Principal Clark don't play!
May 17, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Highlander (1986)
Immortality's 'Kind of Magic'.
May 17, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
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