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92 ciúnas (862)
93 FloatingCoffin (825)
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I'm One Ugly MotherFucker
Reviews by 'FloatingCoffin'
Current status of Movie star with a total of 825 reviews published to date.
Order by  Film Name Review Votes Review Score Chronological Order Show 
Cocktail (1988)
Tails chased by cocks.
Oct 22, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (19)   
Joe Versus The Volcano (1990)
'You've Got Lava'.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (17)   
Citizen Kane (1941)
'Much Ado About Sledding'.
Nov 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (12)   
Man In The Iron Mask, The (1998)
Leo as The Gimp.
Oct 22, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (11)   
Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs (1937)
Woman shuns short men.
Oct 12, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (10)   
Home Alone (1990)
Little asshole keeps screaming.
Jan 22, 2004
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (9)   
Blues Brothers, The (1980)
106 miles, cigarettes, sunglasses.
Sep 20, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
Bendy swords, trees, women.
Sep 20, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Kundun (1997)
Lama on the lam.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Meet Joe Black (1998)
Even death digs sex.
Sep 20, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Twins (1988)
270 pound virgin deflowered.
Sep 21, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Blazing Saddles (1974)
Sheriff whips it out.
Oct 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Born On The Fourth Of July (1989)
Top Gun shot down.
Oct 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Moulin Rouge! (2001)
Absinthe, lust, Teen Spirit.
Sep 20, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Spartacus (1960)
Everyone is Spartacus, crucified.
Oct 17, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (7)   
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)
Even robots hate Spinach.
Sep 20, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Back To The Future (1985)
1.21 gigawatts of paradoxes.
Sep 13, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Close Encounters Of The Third Kind (1977)
UFO with catchy beat.
Jan 10, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Days Of Thunder (1990)
Drive fast, turn left.
Sep 28, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Debbie Does Dallas (1978)
Wined, dined, 69ed.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (6)   
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
Short, squat space thingy.
Sep 28, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Few Good Men, A (1992)
Cruise handles it, wins.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Dead Man Walking (1995)
Live man dying.
Oct 13, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Fatal Attraction (1987)
Children get bunny stew.
Nov 9, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Forrest Gump (1994)
Forrest sees dead people.
Sep 17, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Basic training basically fucked.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Guess Who's Coming To Dinner (1967)
Tracy does racial 180.
Nov 4, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Mission: Impossible (1996)
CIA invaded by firemen.
Sep 29, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Predator (1987)
Ventura finds time, bleeds.
Sep 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Rush Hour (1998)
Kung-fu, bullshit stops kidnappers.
Sep 28, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The (2003)
Classic massacre film massacred.
Jan 11, 2004
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Trainspotting (1996)
Vein ride to heaven.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (5)   
3000 Miles To Graceland (2001)
Elvii knock over casino.
Jan 4, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
8 Crazy Nights (2002)
Offensive Jew offends Jews.
Oct 13, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Apocalypse Now (Redux) (1979)
Napalm provides good wake-up.
Nov 6, 2003
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
Neo introduces 'Whoa!'.
Oct 14, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Bowling For Columbine (2002)
Bowling ... Cold dead hands.
Sep 10, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Breast Men (1997)
Boob doctors inflate indiscriminately.
Nov 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind (2002)
Barris blows away competition.
Sep 20, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)
Monkey boy razes Caine.
Oct 12, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
G.I. Jane (1997)
Elite unit goes coed.
Oct 9, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Ghostbusters (1984)
Sex raises all hell.
Sep 11, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King, The (2003)
Four fingered hobbit discounted.
Jan 6, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Matrix Reloaded, The (2003)
Hugo Weavings' ass whoopings.
Oct 15, 2003
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (4)   
One, The (2001)
One man, 100+ suicides.
Oct 14, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Perfect Storm, The (2000)
Storm perfect, movie isn't.
Sep 29, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Rainmaker, The (1997)
Ma Kettle bankrupts Prudential.
Oct 26, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Rocky III (1982)
Clubber's bold prediction: Pain.
Jan 10, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)
Farmer versus Death Star.
Aug 29, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return Of The Jedi (1983)
Bikini justifies whole series.
Aug 24, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Talk To Her (2002)
Comatose woman woos rapist.
Jan 11, 2004
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Adaptation. (2002)
Masturbating author writes script.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Aladdin (1992)
Bad viziers never win.
Aug 24, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Back To The Future Part II (1989)
Sequel lacks original's electriciy.
Sep 17, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Batman And Robin (1997)
Big-crotched Boy Wonder.
Sep 18, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Bedazzled (2000)
Dudley Doright done wrong.
Oct 12, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Blue Crush (2002)
Surfer chick sacks quarterback.
Oct 14, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Donnie Brasco (1997)
Mob infiltrated by jeweler.
Sep 28, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Enter The Dragon (1973)
Bruce Lee versus everyone.
Nov 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
Kubrick eyes Kidman's thighs.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Falling Down (1993)
Mid-life crisis wants breakfast.
Oct 14, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Gods Must Be Crazy, The (1980)
Coke, proof of God.
Oct 9, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Interview With The Vampire (1994)
All vampires really gay.
Oct 12, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Jurassic Park (1993)
Dinosaurs make humans extinct.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (3)   
K-PAX (2001)
Alien tourist committed.
Oct 12, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Keeping The Faith (2000)
Two Micks, one Yid.
Nov 3, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Kindergarten Cop (1990)
Arnie diagnosed with tumor.
Nov 4, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (3)   
League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, The (2003)
Historic fiction given flesh.
Oct 19, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Matchstick Men (2003)
Confessions of dangerous conmen.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Monster's Ball (2001)
Berry gets comfort sex.
Oct 14, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Multiplicity (1996)
Cloning clones creates idiots.
Oct 11, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Pleasantville (1998)
Colored folks raising hell.
Sep 17, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Pleasantville (1998)
Reese deflowers entire town.
Sep 23, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Scarface (1983)
Little friend introduced, discharged.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
Shit pipe to freedom.
Oct 20, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (3)   
Witness (1985)
Grain buries cop troubles.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (3)   
American Outlaws (2001)
Robber baron robbed barren.
Sep 29, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Apocalypse Now (1979)
Surfer Duvall cinematic immortality.
Sep 17, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Beautiful Mind, A (2001)
Profound intelligence, with guests.
Oct 27, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Big Lebowski, The (1998)
White Russians made popular.
Oct 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Boogie Nights (1997)
Titanic penis, naked Graham.
Sep 20, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Boondock Saints, The (1999)
Well hung Irishmen assassinate.
Sep 22, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Breakfast Club, The (1985)
Stupid kids attend detention.
Sep 28, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Bright Young Things (2003)
'Swingers' meets 'Wonder Boys'.
Oct 12, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Bruce Almighty (2003)
Buffalo gets lazy deity.
Dec 29, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Collateral Damage (2002)
9/11 stalled 9/11 movie.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
Luke fails to communicate.
Sep 20, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Dangerous Minds (1995)
White girl, black school.
Sep 29, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Day After, The (1983)
Nuclear holocaust starkly portrayed.
Oct 19, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Death To Smoochy (2002)
Barney gets what's coming.
Nov 19, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Tree-trimmer, ice-sculptor unfortunate virgin.
Sep 28, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Fast And The Furious, The (2001)
DVD thieves in Hondas.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982)
Judge caught jerking off.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
Hayek plays snaky whore.
Oct 12, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Gangs Of New York (2002)
Blood runs, Irishmen don't.
Oct 11, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (2)   
GoldenEye (1995)
Hottie programmer shags 007.
Sep 10, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
GoodFellas (1990)
Voiceover explains mob life.
Sep 24, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Grosse Pointe Blank (1997)
Hitman has existential crisis.
Sep 17, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Head Over Heels (2001)
Prinze as killer, yeah.
Oct 14, 2003
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (2)   
Hollywood Homicide (2003)
Hollywood cop career suicide.
Sep 23, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (2)   
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