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| Hotties blow up asteroid. |
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| Willis dies. Affleck lives. |
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| Ben returns, Bruce doesn't. |
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| World applauds exploded Bruce. |
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| Bruce destroys 'The Rock'. |
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| Likeable cheese! Buscemi rocks!!! |
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| Drilling in space... brilliant. |
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| Willis sacrifices, Tyler grieves. |
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| Asteroid twats Paris, hurrah! |
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| 'Deep Impact' sans ennui. |
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| Willis nukes himself, asteroid. |
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| Affleck's singing only highlight. |
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| Billy limps through script. |
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| Tyler, Minor. Affleck, Miner. |
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| Buscemi nuts about lasers. |
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| Paris clobbered, Americans cheer! |
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| Vacuous void ridiculously noisy. |
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| Americans, Russian save world. |
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| Pointy room provokes paranoia. |
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| Kiss your asteroid goodbye. |
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| Ridiculous riggers mine asteroid. |
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| Earths saviour is Willis. |
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| Drillers' 'boring' asteroid film. |
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| Earth saved, physics doomed. |
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| Made 'Superman' look realistic. |
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| Bay's, Bruce's, Ben's blockbuster. |
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| Billy battles, Bruce bombs. |
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| Bruce's boys kick asteroid. |
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| Rock *just* misses Earth. |
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| Drillers become space jockeys. |
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| Willis finally die's hard. |
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| 'Deep Impact' with laughter. |
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| Drillers become astronauts -- boom. |
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| Spawned horrid Aerosmith song. |
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| Meatheads meet meteor metier. |
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| Owen Wilson, Ben stellar. |
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| Meteor driller gets girl. |
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| Aerosmith saves the movie. |
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| Rocks fall, Willis palls. |
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| Affleck dates boss' daughter. |
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| Best thing: Aerosmith song. |
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| Willis 'Moonlights' as saviour. |
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| Asteroid, audience bored. |
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| Space rock smashes Paris. |
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| Buscemi battles asteroid, insanity. |
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| Sacrificing Bruce saves world. |
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| Willis, Astronaut? Not believable. |
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| Asteroid, eardrums destroyed. |
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| Affleck drills Liv + asteroid. |
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| Oil riggers rig asteroid. |
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| Bruckheimer's Big Asteroid. |
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| Willis driller, comet killer. |
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| Nukes deployed, asteroid destroyed. |
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| Patriotic comedy- a disaster. |
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| Willis falls on as-teroid. |
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| Stuff explodes, Bruce dies. |
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| Bruce flies, cries, dies. |
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| Buscemi pastiches 'Strangelove' strangely. |
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| Boring machine outperforms Bruce. |
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| Engineers tested for 'steroids. |
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| Bruce battles big boulder. |
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