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| Willis falls on as-teroid. |
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| Oil riggers rig asteroid. |
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| Affleck drills Liv + asteroid. |
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| Willis 'Moonlights' as saviour. |
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| Drillers become space jockeys. |
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| Engineers tested for 'steroids. |
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| Owen Wilson, Ben stellar. |
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| Meatheads meet meteor metier. |
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| Wrinklies drill asteriod. |
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| Willis drills, flies, dies. |
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| Rock movie with Aerosmith. |
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| Fuckwit rigger saves world. |
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| Hotties blow up asteroid. |
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| Willis dies. Affleck lives. |
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| Drillers' 'boring' asteroid film. |
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| Bay's, Bruce's, Ben's blockbuster. |
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| Kiss your asteroid goodbye. |
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| Tyler, Minor. Affleck, Miner. |
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| Pointy room provokes paranoia. |
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| Ben returns, Bruce doesn't. |
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| Ben and Liv Arma-get-it-on. |
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| Long live rock? Negatory. |
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| Affleck drills Bruce's baby. |
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| Willis drills earthbound asteroid. |
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| Eiffel does Pisa impression. |
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| Willis driller, comet killer. |
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| Willis goes ballistic, literally. |
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| Willis, Comet: Close Shave. |
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| Billy limps through script. |
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| Willis nukes himself, asteroid. |
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| Ridiculous riggers mine asteroid. |
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| Earth savers? Tax-exempt! |
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| Willis prevents meteor disaster. |
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| Willis explosive. Affleck boring. |
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| Willis's riggers with attitude. |
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| Boring machine outperforms Bruce. |
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| Bruckheimer's Big Asteroid. |
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| Earth threatened? Send yahoos! |
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| Buscemi gets 'Space Dementia'! |
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| Asteroid, audience bored. |
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| Space rock smashes Paris. |
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| Baldy blasts big boulder. |
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| Astronauts dig for victory! |
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| Asteroid doesn't deep impact. |
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| Asteroid misses Hollywood unfortunately. |
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| Rocks fall, Willis palls. |
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| Aerosmith saves the movie. |
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| Meteor driller gets girl. |
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| Sacrificing Bruce saves world. |
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| Emergency asteroid drill. |
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| Nukes deployed, asteroid destroyed. |
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| World applauds exploded Bruce. |
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| Nuclear weapon finally helpful. |
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| Earth saved, physics doomed. |
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| Buscemi battles asteroid, insanity. |
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| Patriotic comedy- a disaster. |
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| Buscemi nuts about lasers. |
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| Asteroid wipes out Willis. |
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| Asteroid splits; audience too. |
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| Shuttle speedometer causes laughter. |
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| Billy battles, Bruce bombs. |
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