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| Stunning. Gorgeous. Moving. Bawl-fest. |
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| Biddy gets watery revisit. |
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| Romance before storyline. Glug! |
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| Love interest drowns story. |
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| Underestimated iceberg. Leo drowns. |
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| Contrived romance mars docudrama. |
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| Iceberg quells steamy romance. |
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| Titanic scenes, scale, boredom. |
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| Big ship floats... sinks. |
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| Winslet strips, poses, drowns. |
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| The Unsinkable Ship, NOT! |
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| Iceberg wins butting contest. |
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| Fearsome funnel flattens Fabrizio. |
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| Overestimating ships cost lives. |
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| Old chick drops necklace. |
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| First voyage ends Titanically! |
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| King of the glugglugglugs... |
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| Ship sinks, movie stinks. |
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| Catastrophe film, catastrophic film. |
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| Old woman survives tragedy. |
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| Hollywood epic misses boat. |
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| Leo frigid, not forgotten. |
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| Ticket holders lose. Lucky! |
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| North Atlantic receives bass. |
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| Rose's salvation: floatation devices. |
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| Fatty would've floated anyhow!
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| Aged Kate remembers shipwreck. |
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| Cameron soars; Titanic sinks. |
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| Sinking ship's love story. |
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| Leo inspects Kate's hull. |
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| Cameron's successful sinking ship. |
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| Kate steals Zane's Heart. |
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| Jack drowns, Rose doesn't. |
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| Smith drinks, ship sinks. |
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| Huge ship sinks. Tragedy. |
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| Iceberg ahead! Ooops! Gulp. |
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| DiCaprio drowns, Winslet weeps. |
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| Orchestra fiddles going down. |
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| Lucrative liner lies low. |
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| Cameron shows sappy side. |
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| Iceberg makes nippley romance. |
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| People bounce, steamy ship. |
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| Iceberg sinks Leo's lusts. |
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| Winslet's breasts, Cameron's ego. |
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| Big-ass ship breaks apart. |
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| Unsinkable ship, records smashed. |
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| Unsinkable ship. Iceberg. Crunch. |
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| 'Tit'anic Kate shows breasts. |
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| Leo indiKate's artistic ability. |
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| Steerage class Leo sinks. |
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| Doesn't sink fast enough. |
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| Atrocious tragedy; atrocious romance. |
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| Love story ends abruptly. |
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| Ship versus iceberg, sinks. |
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| Leonardo DiCaprio goes down. |
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| Expensive vehicle sinks DiCaprio. |
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| Rose-titted romance recalled. |
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| Winslet whines, Dicaprio declines. |
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| Leo freezes, Winslet Lives. |
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