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durianfan (237)
173
tpat (232)
174
Cheddar's Finest (232)
Appreciative of sexual attention.
Reviews by 'tpat'
Current status of
Movie mogul
with a total of
232
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
Top Gun (1986)
Cruise laid, Goose cooked.
Nov 9, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(12)
Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981)
Bad date causes death.
Dec 4, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(9)
Fly, The (1958)
Fly gives scientist head.
Dec 7, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(8)
Mules In The Coal Mines (1903)
These asses were shafted.
Nov 9, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(8)
Matrix, The (1999)
People dress better online.
Nov 8, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(7)
Under Siege (1992)
'Just Cook' serves mayhem.
Oct 15, 2005
Scored 2/5
Vote
(7)
Barb Wire (1996)
Inflated sex-doll speaks!
Nov 1, 2005
Scored 1/5
Vote
(6)
Wayne's World (1992)
Makita Canadian in joke.
Oct 19, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(5)
Breast Men (1997)
Corporations spoil breast ideas.
Oct 25, 2005
Scored 2/5
Vote
(4)
Cast Away (2000)
Employee fitness program: Fed-Extreme.
Nov 24, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(4)
Gattaca (1997)
Hawke wears Law's genes.
Oct 14, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(4)
Sure Thing, The (1985)
Surety untouched; Cusack's forgiven.
Nov 15, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(4)
1 Night In Paris (2004)
Green girl gobbles, grunts.
Nov 24, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Back To The Future Part II (1989)
Middle of the future.
Dec 21, 2005
Scored 2/5
Vote
(3)
Breakfast Club, The (1985)
Judd hides between thighs.
Nov 29, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(3)
Complete Works Of William Shakespeare (Abridged), The (2000)
Mny grt plys prsntd.
Dec 6, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Conversation, The (1974)
Hackman misinterprets buggy information.
Jan 25, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(3)
Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)
Drive through fucks Pesci.
Oct 21, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(3)
One, The (2001)
Li: own worst enemy.
Oct 25, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(3)
Porco Rosso (1992)
Porcine ace saves bacon.
Oct 20, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(3)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Watch found in end.
Dec 21, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(3)
School Of Rock, The (2003)
True Rock believer: teacher.
Oct 19, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(3)
Very Long Engagement, A (2004)
In French, Foster's sexier.
Nov 14, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(3)
Airplane! (1980)
Captain asks inappropriate questions.
Nov 22, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Babe (1995)
Mice make Greek chorus.
Nov 22, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Before Sunset (2004)
Ethan's second date: delayed.
Nov 15, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
Boys Don't Cry (1999)
Brandon has penis envy.
Nov 29, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Busty Cops (2003)
Bra enforcement.
Apr 10, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Cyrano De Bergerac (1990)
Depardieu wears unnecessary prosthetic.
Nov 9, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Dead Man Walking (1995)
Nun, killer become close.
Oct 19, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Drunken Master (1978)
Jackie's stagger-fu classic.
Nov 16, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Get Shorty (1995)
Farina rejects Hackman's bravado.
Dec 27, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Herbie Goes Bananas (1980)
Bananas spoil beloved bug.
Apr 10, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull (2008)
Doctor needs whip, Metamucil.
Apr 7, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom (1984)
Snake surprise: lunch lost.
Oct 27, 2005
Scored 2/5
Vote
(2)
Iron Giant, The (1999)
Walking weapon develops conscience.
Nov 1, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Jumanji (1995)
Digital critters overrun home.
Nov 15, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
Live Nude Shakespeare (1997)
Jiggling to iambic pentameter.
Apr 10, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Notting Hill (1999)
Space movie lacks horses.
Apr 19, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Oklahoma! (1955)
Corn's high, elephant unseen.
Apr 7, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Porco Rosso (1992)
In Mediterranean, pig flies.
Oct 20, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Motherfuckin' wallet easily found.
Oct 24, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981)
White dress placates Frenchman.
Dec 4, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants, The (2005)
Trousers dropped -- in post.
Nov 15, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Soggy Penis Syndrome (2004)
Dilapidinks.
Oct 19, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)
Remember: Han shot first!
Jan 27, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Total Recall (1990)
Pliers pull nose nugget.
Nov 1, 2005
Scored 2/5
Vote
(2)
Touching The Void (2003)
Fickle friend forces fall.
Oct 19, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
War Of The Roses, The (1989)
Gymnast wife slightly enraged.
Nov 15, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Weather Man, The (2005)
Unbalanced archer attracts foodstuff.
Mar 28, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory (1971)
Candyman punishes churlish children.
Nov 29, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Alien� (1992)
Skinhead violently aborts foetus.
Nov 16, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
American Pie 2 (2001)
Stifler tastes golden shower.
Apr 28, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Anger Management (2003)
Nicholson cures doormat's rage.
Apr 15, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Bambi Meets Godzilla (1969)
Godzilla needs pedicure.
Nov 15, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Beetlejuice (1988)
Davis's lips get zipped.
Dec 28, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
Circle K slackers motivated.
Oct 31, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Braveheart (1995)
Mad Max made gutless.
Dec 13, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Captain Corelli's Mandolin (2001)
Cage Italian, Cruz Greek?
Dec 28, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Dark Crystal, The (1982)
Henson's creepiest puppet adventure.
Nov 15, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Dead Man Walking (1995)
Cloistered kook consoles convict.
Oct 19, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Dead Ringers (1988)
Cronenberg's multiple misogynist gynecologists.
Nov 1, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Educating Rita (1983)
Engaging student stirs souse.
Nov 1, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
Cameron revived through submersion.
Nov 28, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Fly, The (1986)
Fly-man's feeding: funky.
Nov 29, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Fog Of War: Eleven Lessons From The Life Of Robert S. McNamara, The (2003)
Without hubris, McNamara recalls.
Oct 20, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Happy Gilmore (1996)
Sink putt, pony dance!
Nov 16, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Heavy Metal (1981)
Evil marble threatens all.
May 9, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Ice Harvest, The (2005)
Platt finally finds testicle.
Dec 7, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade (1989)
Shiny chalice accelerates aging.
Dec 1, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Island, The (2005)
Jesus loves Scarlett Johansson.
Feb 16, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Japanese Story (2003)
Killer pond shortens sojourn.
Jun 8, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Nameless bride awakens bloodthirsty.
Oct 15, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Bride makes bloody mess.
Nov 29, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Bride gains name, daughter.
Oct 17, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Kung Pow: Enter The Fist (2002)
Gas attack kills dog.
Nov 15, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Labyrinth (1986)
Bowie juggles his balls.
Dec 8, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Man On Fire (2004)
Kid revives Denzel, briefly.
Nov 15, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Matrix Reloaded, The (2003)
Smith multiplied; Neo deified.
Nov 8, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Matrix Revolutions, The (2003)
Neo's final victory Pyrrhic.
Nov 1, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Me, Myself & Irene (2000)
Alter ego butt's chin.
Nov 29, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Memento (2000)
Guy doesn't regret errors.
Oct 26, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Memento (2000)
The tat-man forgetteth.
Nov 1, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Minority Report (2002)
Cops pre-arrest future felons.
Nov 9, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Mr. Holland's Opus (1995)
Musical curse: deaf son.
Nov 15, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(1)
My Neighbor Totoro (1988)
Fuzzy deity raises spirits.
Oct 19, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Nausicaa Of The Valley Of Wind (1984)
Big bug eco-warriors.
Nov 29, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
Nicholson's neurons sizzled, scooped.
Apr 7, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Princess Mononoke (1997)
Wolf waif: punishment princess.
Nov 1, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Uma pierced, Rosanna awestruck.
Oct 24, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
R.V. (2006)
Foolish father: fecal fountain.
Jul 27, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Robocop (1987)
Hero eats baby food.
Nov 15, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Saved! (2004)
Jesus crushes Moore's van.
Nov 1, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Secretary (2002)
Lawyer supports corporal punishment.
Dec 7, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Shopgirl (2005)
Danes's kid glove treatment.
Jun 4, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Spirited Away (2001)
Lass liberates porcine parents.
Oct 26, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Splash (1984)
Hanks rejects stemmed snails.
Aug 11, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Hand goes, scoundrel froze.
Apr 9, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Station Agent, The (2003)
Retired dwarf goes walking.
Dec 8, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Stay (2005)
Stuttery film: cosmic do-over.
Jun 28, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
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