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271
chaypher (114)
272
Portugeezer (112)
273
paperfolder (112)
Totally cool film fanatic
Reviews by 'Portugeezer'
Current status of
Movie guru
with a total of
112
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
Catwoman (2004)
Razzie-Berry.
Apr 27, 2005
Scored 1/5
Vote
(7)
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull (2008)
Indiana Groans.
May 16, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Dude, where's my eye?
Apr 11, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(5)
Sticking Cattle (1901)
Cattle prod.
Apr 30, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Da Vinci Code, The (2006)
Jesus- not so celibate.
Nov 11, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
Ghost Dog: The Way Of The Samurai (1999)
Whitaker - Lazy eye Samurai.
Apr 11, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Matrix Reloaded, The (2003)
Matrix Unloaded.
Apr 16, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
Titanic (1997)
Nips dont save ships.
Feb 16, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(2)
40 Year Old Virgin, The (2005)
40 long, 'hard' years.
Sep 20, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Akira (1988)
Neo Tokyo is Anime-zing.
Apr 16, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
American Pie (1999)
Pies - High in protein.
Apr 16, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
American Pie 2 (2001)
Lesbians and super glue.
Aug 24, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (2004)
Wanker Anchor misses panda.
Apr 11, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Beautiful Mind, A (2001)
Schizo teacher scares wife.
Mar 8, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Cowgays.
Feb 1, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
ET goes home.
Nov 2, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
Vampire titties take twist.
Apr 16, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Groundhog Day (1993)
Neverending day.
Nov 2, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Hitch (2005)
Mendes loves big Willy.
Apr 14, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Italian Job, The (1969)
Englishmen steal Italian gold.
Sep 7, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Jurassic Park (1993)
People, Dinosaurs - Bad Mix.
Apr 12, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Uma's killing Japanese.
Apr 12, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Layer Cake (2004)
Coke cake kills cockneys.
Apr 11, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring, The (2001)
Half a hero.
Apr 23, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Matrix, The (1999)
Keanu's career takes flight.
Apr 19, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Mummy, The (1999)
Weisz discovers wrapped undead.
Mar 15, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
Stallone - better than Napalm.
Apr 21, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Red Eye (2005)
Murphy takes late fright.
Sep 20, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Nice suits get bloody.
Apr 11, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut (1999)
Canada super, Saddam Ass-king.
Apr 12, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Spider-Man (2002)
Peter Parker hates pumpkins.
Apr 26, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones (2002)
One Badass, Yoda is...
Apr 12, 2005
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Swept Away (2002)
Madonna - Natural... Razzie winner.
Apr 12, 2005
Scored 1/5
Vote
(1)
Titanic (1997)
Iceberg spoils the party.
Sep 8, 2005
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Trainspotting (1996)
Ewan McGregor on Smack.
Apr 21, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Two Brothers (2004)
Tiger brothers miss mother.
Oct 23, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Wallace & Gromit In The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit (2005)
Rabbits vs Anti-pesto.
Oct 30, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
West Side Story (1961)
Dancing in the 'hood.
Aug 25, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(1)
2001 - A Space Odyssey (1968)
HAL takes over spaceship.
Sep 9, 2005
Unscored
Vote
40 Year Old Virgin, The (2005)
Andy passes first base.
May 19, 2006
Unscored
Vote
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)
Robot misses his mum.
May 2, 2005
Unscored
Vote
Accomodating Cow, The (1902)
No space to moooove.
Jan 13, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
American Pie: The Wedding (2003)
Stiffler loves Jim's Grandma.
Aug 31, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
Austin Powers In Goldmember (2002)
Myers, his own enemy.
Nov 1, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (1997)
Groovy englishmam saves world.
Apr 2, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Mini Me in space.
Apr 17, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
Barb Wire (1996)
Busty blonde- Barb Wire.
May 6, 2006
Unscored
Vote
BASEketball (1998)
Sport for lazy athletes.
Aug 30, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
Blade (1998)
Man/ vampire kills vampires.
Aug 31, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
Bullet Boy (2004)
So Solid, dies horrid(ly).
May 17, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
Carry On Camping (1969)
Bab's baps pop out.
Jan 9, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
Cat In The Hat, The (2003)
Myers and Seuss shamed.
Oct 30, 2005
Scored 1/5
Vote
Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
Knob club = death.
May 20, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
Milk bottle = prison.
May 20, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
Crash (2004)
Ludacris saves Thais.
Oct 20, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
Da Vinci Code, The (2006)
Albino; wrath of god.
May 26, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Da Vinci Code, The (2006)
Silas; angel or ghost?
May 26, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Da Vinci Code, The (2006)
Hanks- the unsaviour.
May 26, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Deep Blue Sea (1999)
Super Jaws.
Apr 17, 2005
Scored 2/5
Vote
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
Stiller's inflatable crotch fails.
Apr 28, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
Fast And The Furious, The (2001)
Film - fast, me - furious.
Apr 12, 2005
Scored 1/5
Vote
Fight Club (1999)
Self-harm gives you strength.
Apr 21, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
Forrest Gump (1994)
Stupid Shrimp fisher runs.
Apr 11, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
From Justin To Kelly (2003)
Idols 'Grease' the beach.
Sep 20, 2005
Unscored
Vote
Garfield: The Movie (2004)
Bill Murray goes ginger.
Oct 28, 2005
Scored 1/5
Vote
Gladiator (2000)
Crowe beats mighty Phoenix.
Apr 16, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
Grease (1978)
Big hair, small trousers.
Apr 17, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
Harold & Kumar Get The Munchies (2004)
Weed, Munchies, White Castle.
Aug 24, 2005
Unscored
Vote
Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005)
Lindsay 'Beetle Racer' Lohan.
Feb 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
History Of Violence, A (2005)
Protects family, kills brother.
Dec 18, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
Hostage (2005)
Beardie Bruce turns good.
Apr 12, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
How A Rat Interrupted An Afternoon Tea (1897)
No tea? Oh Rats!
Apr 21, 2005
Unscored
Vote
Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade (1989)
Indy finds Holy Grail.
Feb 16, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom (1984)
Indy finds voodoo cave.
Sep 7, 2005
Unscored
Vote
Jackie Brown (1997)
DeNiro fondly does Fonda.
Apr 11, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
Jarhead (2005)
Cock commander cancels kill.
Feb 16, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Uma ticks last Box.
Sep 7, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
King Arthur (2004)
Arthur rides by Knight(ley).
Apr 12, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
License To Thrill, A (1985)
Orgasmapussy.
Oct 19, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
Little Nicky (2000)
Sandler gets the shovel.
Aug 25, 2005
Unscored
Vote
Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
Cons make Vinnie mad.
Apr 12, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
Longest Yard, The (2005)
Little nicky gets tough.
Sep 21, 2005
Unscored
Vote
Matrix Revolutions, The (2003)
Reeves gets digital makeover.
May 2, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
Million Pound Note, The (1953)
Peck given wallet space.
Apr 16, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
Miss Nude America (1976)
USA- big CUNTry.
Apr 1, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
Monsters, Inc. (2001)
Little girls - horror's embodiment.
Mar 15, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Moulin Rouge! (2001)
Musical Parisien whore house.
Sep 9, 2005
Unscored
Vote
Once Upon A Time In Mexico (2003)
Eyeless Depp, kneecaps foes.
May 10, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Phone Booth (2002)
Phone booth + sniper = deathtrap.
Jun 1, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (2003)
Skeletons in the Knight(ley).
Apr 17, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Travolta- Junkie, Uma- OD.
Jul 8, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
Punisher, The (2004)
Castle seeks bloody revenge.
Aug 30, 2005
Unscored
Vote
Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981)
Indy runs from boulder.
Sep 7, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
Road Trip (2000)
Road chase for video.
Aug 31, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Hanks saves his privates.
May 20, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
Scary Movie (2000)
Killer gives Electra Outplants.
Aug 30, 2005
Unscored
Vote
Shrek 2 (2004)
Charming charms oogling ogre.
Apr 12, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
Snatch (2000)
Sarcastic Boxers hire Pikey.
Apr 11, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Introduction of Doc-Oc.
Jun 28, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones (2002)
R2D2 gets flying lessons.
May 9, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
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