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calmer (22025)
2
randall (18920)
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AC (16343)
Sensibly seeking self-stimulation
Reviews by 'calmer'
Current status of
Movie deity (Gold)
with a total of
22025
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
Titanic (1997)
Girl meets buoy.
May 4, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(40)
Cocktail (1988)
Booze Cruise.
Mar 8, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(40)
Bridget The Midget: A Short Story (1999)
Sexual diminuendo.
Apr 26, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(33)
Story Of Cement, The (1978)
Concrete details.
Feb 23, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(31)
Highlander (1986)
Kill or be kilt.
Mar 8, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(30)
Live Aid (1985)
Foodstock.
Feb 18, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(29)
Mussolini: The Decline And Fall Of Il Duce (1985)
Benito's finito.
Apr 2, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(25)
History Of Masturbation, The (2002)
Retrospanktive.
Feb 17, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(24)
Devil's Advocate, The (1997)
Johnny Demonic.
Mar 13, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(23)
Last Heterosexual, The (1993)
Got one thing straight.
Feb 19, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(23)
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)
Dick's a Chitty driver.
Mar 2, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(23)
Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World (2005)
Some funny Shi'ite.
Feb 19, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(22)
Sahara (2005)
Desert Cruz.
Apr 10, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(22)
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Sibling riflery.
May 20, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(22)
Bestiality (1976)
It's A Dog's Wife.
Jun 4, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(21)
Zodiac (2007)
The (R)age of Aquarius.
Jun 19, 2007
Unscored
Vote
(21)
Farm Family: In Search Of Gay Life In Rural America (2004)
Children of the Cornhole.
Apr 19, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(20)
Safe Sex: The Manual (1994)
Safer Sex (Is) Manual.
Feb 24, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(20)
Shrek (2001)
Horny dragon craves ass.
May 1, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(19)
Busty Cops (2003)
T.W.A.T.
Apr 13, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(19)
All Nude Summer (1998)
Chests, nuts. Roasting.
Mar 10, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(18)
Fifteen Minute Hamlet, The (1995)
15 minutes of Dane.
Mar 28, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(18)
Out In Nature: Homosexual Behaviour In The Animal Kingdom (2001)
Ram rams ram.
Apr 29, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(18)
How To Build An Igloo (1949)
Inuit wasn't easy work.
Aug 1, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(18)
Boyz N The Hood (1991)
Fish (burne) and Crips.
Mar 22, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(18)
Canadian Bacon (1995)
'Alda President's Men'.
Apr 13, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(17)
Sex: The Annabel Chong Story (1999)
Annabel's 251-cum salute.
Apr 12, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(17)
Super Size Me (2004)
Golden arches = pearly gates.
Apr 12, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(17)
Werewolf Of Woodstock, The (1975)
Crosby, Stills & Gnash.
Apr 25, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(17)
Images Of Indians: How Hollywood Stereotyped The Native American (2003)
Adding insult to Injun.
Sep 21, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(17)
Making Of 'Troy', The (2004)
Successful conception with Trojans.
Mar 24, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(17)
Cleaning Pig's Feet (1901)
Putting shine on swine.
Feb 16, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(16)
She's Working Her Way Through College (1952)
T + A = B.A.
Apr 24, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(16)
Buck Naked In The 21st Century (1993)
More bang for Buck.
Feb 25, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(16)
Deliverance (1972)
Hillbilly's up Shit Creek.
Feb 14, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(16)
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Spectrum loses several colors.
Mar 11, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(16)
Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
The plot quickens.
Mar 31, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(15)
Execution Of Mary Stuart, The (1895)
Mary finishes a head.
Apr 2, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(15)
Demonstrating The Action Of The Chicago Pneumatic Shell Riveters On The Underside Of The Hull Of A Steel Vessel. Taken For The Chicago Pneumatic Tool Co. (1900)
Hull of a film.
Apr 21, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(14)
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Tale of Beatrix, Rotter.
Feb 18, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(14)
Vampires vs. Zombies (2004)
Undead vs. Unfed.
Mar 8, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(14)
Are We There Yet? (2005)
Nice Ice, babies.
Jan 26, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(13)
Kingdom Of Heaven (2005)
Bloom finds knight job.
May 10, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(13)
Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World (2005)
Why'd camel cross road?
Feb 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(13)
Saw III (2006)
Premise is becoming hack-kneed.
Mar 22, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(13)
Sex At 7000 Feet (1977)
Silvia gives flying fuck.
Jun 1, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(13)
Saw II (2005)
Stumped again.
May 4, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(13)
When Winnie The Pooh Was Very Very Young (2001)
Pre-Pooh-berty.
Apr 27, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(13)
Grizzly Man (2005)
Treadwell's life becomes unbearable.
Aug 20, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(12)
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
One-man Italian battalion.
Mar 30, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(12)
10,000 Black Men Named George (2002)
A horde called George.
Feb 11, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(12)
Descent, The (2005)
'Chicks with picks' flick.
Jul 15, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(12)
Bad News Bears, The (1976)
Star pitcher lacks balls.
Mar 2, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(12)
Being Mick (2001)
Jagger's swagger.
May 4, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(11)
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
More than cattle prodded.
Feb 6, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(11)
Monster-In-Law (2005)
J-Lo meets genuine S.O.B.
Apr 19, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(11)
Saw (2004)
Cutting-edge, psycho, 'therapy'.
Mar 28, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(11)
TRON (1982)
Jeff Bridgital.
Jun 19, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(11)
Bullitt (1968)
Screech of San Francisco.
Mar 30, 2007
Unscored
Vote
(11)
Busty Cops (2003)
Cups and Rubbers.
Apr 10, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(11)
Sex: The Annabel Chong Story (1999)
Annabel does fuck all.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(11)
Tiger Woods Story, The (1998)
Tiger's tale.
Aug 1, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(11)
Sinatra In Israel (1962)
'Yid It My Way'.
Jul 4, 2007
Unscored
Vote
(11)
Erotic Dorian Gray (1998)
Gray's pubes never grey.
Mar 31, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(10)
Karen Carpenter Story, The (1989)
She'd Only Just Begun.
Sep 20, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(10)
Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The (2003)
Teens treated like trees.
May 22, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(10)
History Of Masturbation, The (2002)
Gripping cinema-tug-raphy.
Feb 20, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(10)
Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
Papa's a Rolling Stone.
Oct 6, 2007
Unscored
Vote
(10)
Boy Who Drank Too Much, The (1980)
Chachi takes the fifth.
Feb 24, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(10)
Bridget The Midget: A Short Story (1999)
Midget shagged 'puppy'-style.
Apr 26, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(9)
Hustle & Flow (2005)
Storyline, supporting actor: Ludacris.
Mar 31, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(9)
Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World (2005)
Sheikhing with laughter.
Feb 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(9)
Sticking Cattle (1901)
Moooo--oww!
May 2, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(9)
Winnie The Pooh Spookable Pooh (2000)
Chicken Pooh.
Apr 8, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(9)
Fashion Victim: The Killing Of Gianni Versace (2001)
Dye Hard.
Jun 5, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(8)
Property Of The State: Gay Men In The Apartheid Military (2003)
Poofs in boots.
Apr 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(8)
Bringing Up Baby (1938)
Love and Roar.
Apr 6, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(8)
Busty Cops (2003)
Officers packin' twin 38's.
Apr 7, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(8)
Matrix Revolutions, The (2003)
Smithiplicity.
Mar 2, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(8)
BlacKkKlansman (2018)
Coup Klux Klan.
May 2, 2018
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Fastest cumslingers in West.
Jan 31, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Feminist And The Fuzz, The (1971)
Cops and Libbers.
Jul 23, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(7)
First Blood (1982)
Disgruntled grunt's inarticulate grunting.
Jul 12, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Grizzly Man (2005)
Bears have impromptu picnic.
Aug 20, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Monica In Black And White (2002)
Monica gives oral report.
Feb 21, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Texas Chain Saw Massacre, The (1974)
Malice 'n' Chains.
May 8, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Midwest Muslim (2006)
Iowa-tollah.
Dec 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Sick: The Life & Death Of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist (1997)
Board with sex.
Feb 24, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Darth stumps Luke.
May 7, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Cooking With Porn Stars (2002)
Bangers and gash.
Aug 2, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Titanic (1997)
Steerage = ballast.
May 4, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Liar Liar (1997)
Attorney commits hari-Carrey.
Apr 29, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Saw II (2005)
De-feet-ed twice.
May 5, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(7)
ABBA: The Movie (1977)
Swedes film Abba-rant behavior.
Feb 19, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(6)
Rocky Balboa (2006)
Rocky VI, Stallone LX.
Jan 15, 2007
Unscored
Vote
(6)
Alice In The Cities (1974)
Alice in Wendersland.
Aug 10, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(6)
Bestiality (1976)
Hot dog on buns.
Jun 4, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(6)
Pam & Tommy Lee: Stolen Honeymoon (1998)
Laywatch.
Nov 1, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(6)
World Of Suzie Wong, The (1960)
White guy, Wong girl.
Mar 26, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(6)
Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch (2002)
Pitchers walk the dog.
Feb 18, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(6)
Page Range
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� Copyright 1999-2024 benj clews... Site comments or suggestions welcomed at
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...
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