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1 calmer (20434)
2 randall (18920)
3 The Aussie Canuck (16342)
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Sensibly seeking self-stimulation
Reviews by 'calmer'
Current status of Movie deity (Gold) with a total of 20434 reviews published to date.
Order by  Film Name Review Votes Review Score Chronological Order Show 
Cocktail (1988)
Booze Cruise.
Mar 8, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (39)   
Titanic (1997)
Girl meets buoy.
May 4, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (39)   
Bridget The Midget: A Short Story (1999)
Sexual diminuendo.
Apr 26, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (33)   
Story Of Cement, The (1978)
Concrete details.
Feb 23, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (31)   
Highlander (1986)
Kill or be kilt.
Mar 8, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (30)   
Live Aid (1985)
Foodstock.
Feb 18, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (28)   
Mussolini: The Decline And Fall Of Il Duce (1985)
Benito's finito.
Apr 2, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (25)   
History Of Masturbation, The (2002)
Retrospanktive.
Feb 17, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (24)   
Devil's Advocate, The (1997)
Johnny Demonic.
Mar 13, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (23)   
Last Heterosexual, The (1993)
Got one thing straight.
Feb 19, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (23)   
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)
Dick's a Chitty driver.
Mar 2, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (22)   
Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World (2005)
Some funny Shi'ite.
Feb 19, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (22)   
Bestiality (1976)
It's A Dog's Wife.
Jun 4, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (21)   
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Sibling riflery.
May 20, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (21)   
Zodiac (2007)
The (R)age of Aquarius.
Jun 19, 2007
Unscored
 
  Vote (21)   
Safe Sex: The Manual (1994)
Safer Sex (Is) Manual.
Feb 24, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (20)   
Sahara (2005)
Desert Cruz.
Apr 10, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (20)   
Busty Cops (2003)
T.W.A.T.
Apr 13, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (19)   
Farm Family: In Search Of Gay Life In Rural America (2004)
Children of the Cornhole.
Apr 19, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (19)   
Shrek (2001)
Horny dragon craves ass.
May 1, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (19)   
All Nude Summer (1998)
Chests, nuts. Roasting.
Mar 10, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (18)   
Boyz N The Hood (1991)
Fish (burne) and Crips.
Mar 22, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (18)   
Fifteen Minute Hamlet, The (1995)
15 minutes of Dane.
Mar 28, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (18)   
How To Build An Igloo (1949)
Inuit wasn't easy work.
Aug 1, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (18)   
Out In Nature: Homosexual Behaviour In The Animal Kingdom (2001)
Ram rams ram.
Apr 29, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (18)   
Canadian Bacon (1995)
'Alda President's Men'.
Apr 13, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (17)   
Images Of Indians: How Hollywood Stereotyped The Native American (2003)
Adding insult to Injun.
Sep 21, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (17)   
Making Of 'Troy', The (2004)
Successful conception with Trojans.
Mar 24, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (17)   
Sex: The Annabel Chong Story (1999)
Annabel's 251-cum salute.
Apr 12, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (17)   
Super Size Me (2004)
Golden arches = pearly gates.
Apr 12, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (17)   
Werewolf Of Woodstock, The (1975)
Crosby, Stills & Gnash.
Apr 25, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (17)   
Buck Naked In The 21st Century (1993)
More bang for Buck.
Feb 25, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (16)   
Cleaning Pig's Feet (1901)
Putting shine on swine.
Feb 16, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (16)   
Deliverance (1972)
Hillbilly's up Shit Creek.
Feb 14, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (16)   
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Spectrum loses several colors.
Mar 11, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (16)   
She's Working Her Way Through College (1952)
T + A = B.A.
Apr 24, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (16)   
Execution Of Mary Stuart, The (1895)
Mary finishes a head.
Apr 2, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (15)   
Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
The plot quickens.
Mar 31, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (15)   
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Tale of Beatrix, Rotter.
Feb 18, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (14)   
Vampires vs. Zombies (2004)
Undead vs. Unfed.
Mar 8, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (14)   
Kingdom Of Heaven (2005)
Bloom finds knight job.
May 10, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (13)   
Saw II (2005)
Stumped again.
May 4, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (13)   
Saw III (2006)
Premise is becoming hack-kneed.
Mar 22, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (13)   
10,000 Black Men Named George (2002)
A horde called George.
Feb 11, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (12)   
Are We There Yet? (2005)
Nice Ice, babies.
Jan 26, 2005
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (12)   
Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World (2005)
Why'd camel cross road?
Feb 24, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (12)   
Sex At 7000 Feet (1977)
Silvia gives flying fuck.
Jun 1, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (12)   
When Winnie The Pooh Was Very Very Young (2001)
Pre-Pooh-berty.
Apr 27, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (12)   
Bad News Bears, The (1976)
Star pitcher lacks balls.
Mar 2, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (11)   
Bullitt (1968)
Screech of San Francisco.
Mar 30, 2007
Unscored
 
  Vote (11)   
Busty Cops (2003)
Cups and Rubbers.
Apr 10, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (11)   
Descent, The (2005)
'Chicks with picks' flick.
Jul 15, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (11)   
Grizzly Man (2005)
Treadwell's life becomes unbearable.
Aug 20, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (11)   
Monster-In-Law (2005)
J-Lo meets genuine S.O.B.
Apr 19, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (11)   
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
One-man Italian battalion.
Mar 30, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (11)   
Saw (2004)
Cutting-edge, psycho, 'therapy'.
Mar 28, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (11)   
Sinatra In Israel (1962)
'Yid It My Way'.
Jul 4, 2007
Unscored
 
  Vote (11)   
Tiger Woods Story, The (1998)
Tiger's tale.
Aug 1, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (11)   
Being Mick (2001)
Jagger's swagger.
May 4, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (10)   
Boy Who Drank Too Much, The (1980)
Chachi takes the fifth.
Feb 24, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (10)   
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
More than cattle prodded.
Feb 6, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (10)   
Erotic Dorian Gray (1998)
Gray's pubes never grey.
Mar 31, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (10)   
History Of Masturbation, The (2002)
Gripping cinema-tug-raphy.
Feb 20, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (10)   
Karen Carpenter Story, The (1989)
She'd Only Just Begun.
Sep 20, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (10)   
Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
Papa's a Rolling Stone.
Oct 6, 2007
Unscored
 
  Vote (10)   
Sex: The Annabel Chong Story (1999)
Annabel does fuck all.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (10)   
Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The (2003)
Teens treated like trees.
May 22, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (10)   
TRON (1982)
Jeff Bridgital.
Jun 19, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (10)   
Bridget The Midget: A Short Story (1999)
Midget shagged 'puppy'-style.
Apr 26, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (9)   
Hustle & Flow (2005)
Storyline, supporting actor: Ludacris.
Mar 31, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (9)   
Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World (2005)
Sheikhing with laughter.
Feb 24, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (9)   
Sticking Cattle (1901)
Moooo--oww!
May 2, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (9)   
Winnie The Pooh Spookable Pooh (2000)
Chicken Pooh.
Apr 8, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (9)   
Bringing Up Baby (1938)
Love and Roar.
Apr 6, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (8)   
Busty Cops (2003)
Officers packin' twin 38's.
Apr 7, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (8)   
Fashion Victim: The Killing Of Gianni Versace (2001)
Dye Hard.
Jun 5, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (8)   
Matrix Revolutions, The (2003)
Smithiplicity.
Mar 2, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (8)   
Property Of The State: Gay Men In The Apartheid Military (2003)
Poofs in boots.
Apr 26, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (8)   
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Fastest cumslingers in West.
Jan 31, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (7)   
Cooking With Porn Stars (2002)
Bangers and gash.
Aug 2, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (7)   
Feminist And The Fuzz, The (1971)
Cops and Libbers.
Jul 23, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (7)   
First Blood (1982)
Disgruntled grunt's inarticulate grunting.
Jul 12, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (7)   
Grizzly Man (2005)
Bears have impromptu picnic.
Aug 20, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (7)   
Liar Liar (1997)
Attorney commits hari-Carrey.
Apr 29, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (7)   
Midwest Muslim (2006)
Iowa-tollah.
Dec 23, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (7)   
Monica In Black And White (2002)
Monica gives oral report.
Feb 21, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (7)   
Saw II (2005)
De-feet-ed twice.
May 5, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (7)   
Sick: The Life & Death Of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist (1997)
Board with sex.
Feb 24, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (7)   
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Darth stumps Luke.
May 7, 2006
Unscored
 
  Vote (7)   
Texas Chain Saw Massacre, The (1974)
Malice 'n' Chains.
May 8, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (7)   
Titanic (1997)
Steerage = ballast.
May 4, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (7)   
'Foxy Grandpa' Shows Boys He Is A Magician (1902)
Cunning codger confuses kids.
Apr 5, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (6)   
ABBA: The Movie (1977)
Swedes film Abba-rant behavior.
Feb 19, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (6)   
Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch (2002)
Pitchers walk the dog.
Feb 18, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (6)   
Bestiality (1976)
Hot dog on buns.
Jun 4, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (6)   
Birth Of A Nation, The (1915)
KKK gets silent treatment.
Apr 11, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (6)   
Chicken Hawk: Men Who Love Boys (1994)
Child rearing advocates speak.
May 10, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (6)   
Docks Of New York, The (1928)
Girl meets buoy.
Mar 26, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (6)   
Hostage (2005)
Talley, whackers.
Mar 16, 2005
Unscored
 
  Vote (6)   
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