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1
calmer (22025)
2
randall (18920)
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AC (16343)
Sensibly seeking self-stimulation
Reviews by 'calmer'
Current status of
Movie deity (Gold)
with a total of
22025
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
Moontan (2007)
Clown duo saves theater,
Jul 22, 2019
Scored 6/5
Vote
Stunt C*cks (2004)
Buddies cock their loads.
Jan 6, 2014
Scored 6/5
Vote
Necroland (2016)
Answers found in Anders.
Jun 6, 2017
Scored 6/5
Vote
Stunt C*cks (2004)
Dong doubles dump loads.
May 24, 2010
Scored 6/5
Vote
(1)
Convention (2009)
Schnack shots from 2008.
Nov 6, 2012
Scored 6/5
Vote
Jackanory: The Curse Of Karrit Poor (2002)
Chinnery and descendants doomed.
May 13, 2008
Scored 6/5
Vote
Stunt C*cks (2004)
Bill, Earl hurl sperm.
Jan 6, 2014
Scored 6/5
Vote
Day Night Day Night (2006)
Teen terrorist's target's NYC.
Aug 27, 2013
Scored 6/5
Vote
Stunt C*cks (2004)
Considerate cocksmen come copiously.
Jan 6, 2014
Scored 6/5
Vote
(1)
Last Pogo Jumps Again: A Biased & Incomplete History Of Toronto Punk Rock And New Wave Music Circa September 24 1976 To December 1 1978, The (2013)
Canuck punkumentary.
Oct 11, 2010
Scored 5/5
Vote
Last Pogo Jumps Again: A Biased & Incomplete History Of Toronto Punk Rock And New Wave Music Circa September 24 1976 To December 1 1978, The (2013)
Last Pogo In Toronto.
Oct 26, 2010
Scored 5/5
Vote
My Gun Is Quick (1957)
Quick dick chases ring.
Jul 1, 2019
Scored 5/5
Vote
Radio Free St. Louis: This Is Chuck Norman (2003)
Norman stormin' AM radio.
Nov 16, 2012
Scored 5/5
Vote
WXIII: Patlabor The Movie 3 (2002)
Monster's bioengineered from cancer.
Jan 30, 2019
Scored 5/5
Vote
Pray Another Day (2003)
Christian spy shepherds Madonna.
Nov 11, 2018
Scored 5/5
Vote
Shakespeare Behind Bars (2005)
Bar(re)d performance.
Apr 19, 2019
Scored 5/5
Vote
City Island (2009)
Garcia guards inmates, aspirations.
Jun 7, 2011
Scored 5/5
Vote
My Gun Is Quick (1957)
Clever dick tracks jewels.
Jul 1, 2019
Scored 5/5
Vote
Ray (2004)
Black, blind and blessed.
Feb 2, 2005
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Shakespeare Behind Bars (2005)
Shankspeare.
May 28, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
(4)
Shakespeare Behind Bars (2005)
Kentucky tried theater.
May 20, 2019
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Snap (2008)
Ambivalent Petra ponders paths.
Feb 11, 2014
Scored 5/5
Vote
The American Nightmare (2000)
Vietnam's atrocities inspire Savini.
Oct 23, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
The American Nightmare (2000)
Films elicit Craven reactions.
Oct 23, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
Radio Free St. Louis: This Is Chuck Norman (2003)
WGNU is Chuck's stake.
Jan 30, 2019
Scored 5/5
Vote
The American Nightmare (2000)
Crafters of creepiness convene.
Oct 20, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
WXIII: Patlabor The Movie 3 (2002)
Futuristic Tokyo's technological entanglement.
Jun 2, 2013
Scored 5/5
Vote
Barfly (1987)
Masochistic Mickey, sadistic Stallone.
Jul 21, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
Racing Stripes (2005)
Coprophiliac flies are hilarious.
Apr 4, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
Boom (2003)
Models manipulate Bombay baddies.
May 15, 2019
Scored 4/5
Vote
Flying Scotsman, The (2006)
Obree overtakes his sanity.
Mar 2, 2019
Scored 4/5
Vote
Married On A Monday (2017)
Wacky Jackie's wedding plans.
Dec 29, 2016
Scored 4/5
Vote
Racing Stripes (2005)
Zebra is no ass.
Apr 4, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Bad News Bears (2005)
Billy Bob bears it.
Feb 10, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Barfly (1987)
Bukowski's bellicose barroom brawler.
Apr 6, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
Barfly (1987)
Legendary Lush Angeles literatus.
Aug 9, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
Barfly (1987)
Bukowski's boozing begets 'Barfly'.
Jun 19, 2007
Scored 4/5
Vote
Lemmy (2002)
Lemmy entertain(s) you.
Jun 5, 2019
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Bad News Bears (2005)
Morris miraculously remolds misfits.
Mar 16, 2019
Scored 4/5
Vote
Barfly (1987)
Rocky's brother pummels Rourke.
Apr 6, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Chicken Little (2005)
Bird bopped, befuddled below.
Feb 7, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Gene Kelly: Anatomy Of A Dancer (2002)
Gene was not genial.
Jun 5, 2019
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Racing Stripes (2005)
David farts, Frankie darts.
Feb 4, 2005
Scored 4/5
Vote
Racing Stripes (2005)
Racehorses behave like asses.
Apr 4, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
Constantine (2005)
Keanu works hellish schedule.
Feb 7, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
Constantine (2005)
Constantine unravels Mephistophelean intrigue.
Apr 1, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Constantine (2005)
Reeves portrays occult ubermensch.
Apr 1, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Curious George (2006)
Primates shuffle evolutionary order.
Feb 7, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Death Of Salvador Dali, The (2005)
Dali daubs Freud's psyche.
Nov 24, 2012
Scored 3/5
Vote
Gentleman's Duel, A (2006)
Voluptuous woman inflames boobs.
Jun 11, 2012
Scored 3/5
Vote
Gentleman's Duel, A (2006)
Melee over dame's d�colletage.
May 18, 2019
Scored 3/5
Vote
Constantine (2005)
Constantine's confounded, reviled, redeemed.
Apr 1, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
'Tis The Season To Be Smurfy (1987)
Silent Night, Smurfy Night.
Nov 23, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Are We There Yet? (2005)
Nice Ice, babies.
Jan 26, 2005
Scored 3/5
Vote
(13)
Constantine (2005)
Keanu versus Lucifer? Whoa!
Apr 1, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Constantine (2005)
Constantine is feeling Weisz.
Apr 1, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Thirst, The (2006)
Blood hooks recovering addicts.
May 25, 2019
Scored 2/5
Vote
40 Days And 40 Nights (2002)
All hands off dick.
Feb 7, 2005
Scored 2/5
Vote
(4)
Birds Do It (1966)
Soupy and Hunter blunder.
Feb 4, 2005
Scored 2/5
Vote
Seres: Genesis (2008)
Owal Tec checks oddities.
Dec 3, 2013
Scored 2/5
Vote
The Wretched (2019)
Ben discovers neighbor's witch.
Mar 24, 2020
Scored 2/5
Vote
Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2004)
Scary Carrey fairy tale.
Jan 30, 2005
Scored 2/5
Vote
(3)
Little Big Top (2006)
Hometown rejuvenates aging clown.
Jan 23, 2014
Scored 1/5
Vote
Oldboy (2003)
Squid gobbler hammers heads.
Apr 28, 2008
Scored 1/5
Vote
Pre-Active (2011)
Jouni can't tell Emily.
Mar 9, 2012
Scored 1/5
Vote
Figment (2005)
Naperville ne'er-do-wells versus duo.
Jul 1, 2014
Scored 1/5
Vote
Oxygen (1999)
Masochistic cop gets cuffed.
Jun 16, 2012
Scored 1/5
Vote
Prick (2009)
Photos jar John's recall.
Jun 29, 2014
Scored 1/5
Vote
(T)Raumschiff Surprise - Periode 1 (2004)
German camp without showers.
Jun 19, 2006
Scored 0/5
Vote
Room (2005)
Psychic Cyndi seeks room.
Apr 4, 2014
Scored 0/5
Vote
#1 (2010)
Rungo receives odd pencil.
Oct 10, 2013
Scored 0/5
Vote
(T)Raumschiff Surprise - Periode 1 (2004)
Dreamship crew misses Uranus.
Jun 19, 2006
Scored 0/5
Vote
Promise (2006)
Tutor's word is bond.
Jun 30, 2014
Scored 0/5
Vote
The Perfect Candidate (2019)
Maryam breaks with tradition.
Mar 24, 2020
Scored 0/5
Vote
You're Next 3: Pajama Party Massacre (2007)
Unasked arrival's axe murderer.
Oct 26, 2012
Scored 0/5
Vote
(T)Raumschiff Surprise - Periode 1 (2004)
Gay heroes save Earth.
Jun 19, 2006
Scored 0/5
Vote
Adventures Of Power (2008)
Air drummer beats odds.
Apr 21, 2013
Scored 0/5
Vote
(T)Raumschiff Surprise - Periode 1 (2004)
Madcap gay space farce.
Jun 19, 2006
Scored 0/5
Vote
(1)
Adventures Of Power (2008)
Ari's air drumming dreams.
Jun 5, 2019
Scored 0/5
Vote
Adventures Of Power (2008)
Ari's air drumming aspirations.
Jul 1, 2014
Scored 0/5
Vote
Bill, For Short (2008)
Kelly covers Grandpa's path.
May 29, 2019
Scored 0/5
Vote
Bill, For Short (2008)
Walking about County Louth.
May 20, 2019
Scored 0/5
Vote
#TheFaustFlick (2017)
Bank blanks Faust's hopes.
Apr 18, 2017
Unscored
Vote
$1000 A Touchdown (1939)
Scoring plays earn K's.
May 11, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
$5,000,000 Counterfeiting Plot, The (1914)
Dress purchase proves costly.
Feb 21, 2008
Unscored
Vote
'Bama Girl (2008)
Jessica jars status quo.
Mar 23, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(1)
'Burbs, The (1989)
Wary welcomers watch weirdos.
Jun 13, 2006
Unscored
Vote
'Foxy Grandpa' Shows Boys He Is A Magician (1902)
Geriatric prestidigitation baffles youths.
Mar 30, 2005
Unscored
Vote
(5)
'G' Men (1935)
Brick's thrown at mob.
Jun 13, 2006
Unscored
Vote
'G' Men (1935)
Cagney delivers Zanuck's lines.
Jun 13, 2006
Unscored
Vote
'Golden Prison': The Louvre, 'A' (1964)
Grand museum's unlikely beginnings.
Jun 13, 2006
Unscored
Vote
'Night, Mother (1986)
Depressed daughter discusses disposal.
Jun 13, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
'Night, Mother (1986)
Agoraphobic Sissy stops suffering.
Jun 13, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
'R Xmas (2001)
Rapper kidnaps Caribbean dealer.
Jun 16, 2006
Unscored
Vote
'Round Midnight (1986)
French fan revitalizes jazzman.
Jun 16, 2006
Unscored
Vote
'Round Midnight (1986)
Jazzman's music, soul unravel.
Jun 16, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
'Salem's Lot (2004)
Salem's bloodier by Hauer.
Jun 16, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(Blooper) Bunny! (1991)
Daffy flushed off stage.
Jun 16, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
(Blooper) Bunny! (1991)
Sam still hates rabbits.
Jun 16, 2006
Unscored
Vote
�Three Amigos! (1986)
Moronic Martins mount up.
Jul 21, 2007
Unscored
Vote
(1)
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� Copyright 1999-2024 benj clews... Site comments or suggestions welcomed at
[email protected]
...
<Memorial>
