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Airbolt 
"teil mann, teil maschine"
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 Posted - 02/06/2007 : 15:47:31
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I would like to designate an award for the most wooden actor and my nomination for male TV actor goes to
BARRY VAN DYKE - Diagnosis Murder. For services to immobility and a Bronson-esque abilty to convey many emotions with the same facial expression. Recently out-acted by a Fencepost.
The Oak Academy welcomes further nominations |
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turrell
"Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh "
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Posted - 02/06/2007 : 15:52:08
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| IF we are talking well known actors (no offense to Barry) - I'd put forth Keanu Reeves - witness Sweet November, Matrix (his wooden style worked in this role). |
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mampers11 
"Lazy Lebowski Loses Rug"
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Posted - 02/06/2007 : 19:47:11
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I think Reeves and Hayden Christansen can be battling for that one
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Airbolt
"teil mann, teil maschine"
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Posted - 02/06/2007 : 20:40:25
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quote:
Originally posted by turrell
IF we are talking well known actors (no offense to Barry)
Cue Oscar type cutaway to Barry sobbing on his Dad's Shoulder!
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Chris C 
"Four words, never backwards."
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Posted - 02/06/2007 : 23:07:36
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| Brad Pitt in Troy gets my vote. |
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ChocolateLady 
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 02/07/2007 : 07:38:09
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quote:
Originally posted by Chris C
Brad Pitt in Troy gets my vote.
Good choice, but mine would be Elijah Wood. That kid has all of two expressions and a body that moves like his surname!
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Beanmimo
"August review site"
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Posted - 02/07/2007 : 13:31:22
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Samantha Mumba, she does more acting in the posters than her movies themselves. |
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Conan The Westy
"Father, Faithful Friend, Fwiffer"
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Posted - 02/07/2007 : 18:29:22
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quote:
Originally posted by turrell
IF we are talking well known actors (no offense to Barry) - I'd put forth Keanu Reeves - witness Sweet November, Matrix (his wooden style worked in this role).
In honour of Kanoe's wooden style I'd already created The Mahogany Oscar - all of his films. Unfortunately no one has achieved it since all gave up sucking on the splinters they received while attempting to watch his acting.
quote:
Originally posted by Beanmimo
Samantha Mumba, she does more acting in the posters than her movies themselves.
Ouch. |
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Airbolt
"teil mann, teil maschine"
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Posted - 02/07/2007 : 21:32:58
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quote:
Originally posted by Conan The Westy
[quote]Originally posted by turrell
IF we are talking well known actors (no offense to Barry) - I'd put forth Keanu Reeves - witness Sweet November, Matrix (his wooden style worked in this role).
In honour of Kanoe's wooden style I'd already created The Mahogany Oscar - all of his films. Unfortunately no one has achieved it since all gave up sucking on the splinters they received while attempting to watch his acting.
[quote]
To be honest , it was an off the cuff post due to one too many episodes of Diagnosis Boredom . er , sorry Murder In which the stolid Barry is a very poor mans Keanu.
In this particular episode a Group of Radicals frame Dick Van Dyke. The Radicals are attacking LA with a series of stock explosions from Movies. Dick's hilarious white 'tache works out that the Main Villain is a very cheap TV Actor with a suspicious Beard and a Radio Show. Meanwhile the Radicals are hiding in a Woods Set marginally larger than the Beach in MALIBU CA . They consist of Two Heavies, a Hottie in a Vest and a Boyband Reject. Dick's 'Tache is captured but he out-talks the Boyband reject - hooray! Barry and a wooden Door compare notes. Meanwhile the cheap TV actor is caught when his U--Haul Van is pulled over after Dick sticks something up the exhaust!
All is well and Dick amuses the cast with a chorus of " Chim-Chiminee" |
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ragingfluff 
"Currently lost in Canada"
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Posted - 02/11/2007 : 22:05:17
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Keanu Reeves' oaken qualities are beyond debate.. he shouldn't even be part of this discussion, he should get an automatic pass.
How about David Duchovny?
Kevin Costner?
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ChocolateLady
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 02/12/2007 : 05:50:45
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quote:
Originally posted by ragingfluff
Keanu Reeves' oaken qualities are beyond debate.. he shouldn't even be part of this discussion, he should get an automatic pass.
Yes, Keanu is always a winner, as is Elijah Wood.
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How about David Duchovny?
Oh, good one - yes, he is pretty oaken, too.
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Kevin Costner?
To be fair, Kevin does have more than two different facial expressions - I've seen three, even four on occaision - so I don't think he'd be a winner - an honourable mention at best.
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redPen
"Because I said so!"
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Posted - 03/03/2007 : 06:38:28
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quote:
Originally posted by ChocolateLady
quote:
Originally posted by Chris C
Brad Pitt in Troy gets my vote.
Good choice, but mine would be Elijah Wood. That kid has all of two expressions and a body that moves like his surname!
Bravo, Choc! And he's inherited the Marty Feldman crown of Walleyedom, as well! The kid's eyes do NOTHING but stare blankly! In two different directions! 
Let's see . . . to come up with my own selection . . .
Aha! Steven Seagal! It's so easy to impersonate him: just lower your eyebrows and do NOTHING else!
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The Oak Awards
