| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| BaftaBaby |
Posted - 06/04/2009 : 09:59:27
Take a film title, drop the first letter to come up with a new film and write a sentence to describe it. Such as:
Entl - the moving tale of a female forest-creature who diguises herself as a boy in order to learn woodland lore.
Lice in Wonderland - the horror story of a kingdom invaded by tiny parasites.
Onan the Barbarian - x-rated yet strangely barren documentary following the exploits of a masturbating warrior.
Your turn 
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| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Wheelz |
Posted - 06/10/2009 : 18:05:59
Ark Knight: In this ill-conceived crossover/sequel, Batman joins forces with Indiana Jones to search for a powerful artifact.
Aws: A cute, loveable baby shark swims into a tourist town's harbor, and has everybody cooing in approval.
0-year-old Virgin: Nobody is particularly surprised when a newborn baby has not had sex yet.
Uno: A spunky, wise-cracking teen spends nine months playing a popular card game.
Carface: Al Pacino plays a man whose odd facial deformity (a bumper-like forehead and headlights for eyes) leads him into the violent life of a black-market auto parts dealer. |
| MguyXXV |
Posted - 06/09/2009 : 17:02:55
Howgirls - Elizabeth Berkeley stars as an aspiring technical support operator for the Wii version of "Dance Dance Fever".
Host Dog - Academy Award winner Forest Whitaker puts in an Oscar caliber performance as an unsuspecting master of the Japanese tea ceremony and its associated ettiquette.
The Ookie - Denis Quaid plays a really gross baseball pitcher with a really nasty, chewing-tobacco-spit fastball that no one can hit ... without throwing up.
Ours Mine and Ours - Denis Quaid is a schizophrenic Vietnam vet who imagines that he marries himself and gives birth to and/or adopts 28 Viet Cong war orphans, each an expression of the many faces of Ho Chih Mihn.
Earl Harbor - Ben Affleck plays loveable doofus Earl Harbor, who attempts big things but bombs everytime. |
| Beanmimo |
Posted - 06/09/2009 : 09:42:44
Ace Off, Nicolas Cage and John Travolta play ww1 spitfire pilots pitted against each other during the peak of the Great War. After a particularly vicious dog fight they shoot each other down captured by a band of malignant wandering gypsies they have to put aside old differences and a language barrier to free themselves. But in the end there can only be one Ace.
Evolver far into the future scientists clone Penelope Cruz much to the delight of the porn industry but Penelope has other ideas as impossibley she begins to remember her past and decides to go for the Best Actress Oscar that she was denied in her first life.
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| MguyXXV |
Posted - 06/09/2009 : 06:04:37
Lory - Denzel Washington stars as the first afro truck driver in the U.K.. with Matthew Broderick as his visionary route supervisor. |
| Cheese_Ed |
Posted - 06/08/2009 : 21:26:29
Hoot 'Em Up - Falconer Clive Owen saves a baby by obliterating every baddie in sight with his trained attack owls. Monica Bellucci provides additional hooters.
The Erminator - A cybernetic weasel from the future is sent back in time to assassinate the mother of a future leader in the fur industry.
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| Chris C |
Posted - 06/07/2009 : 22:40:01
Oldfinger - "No, Mr Bond, I expect I will die. Very soon."
Shtar - Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman star in an awful biopic of Sean Connery's life
Abe, Pig in the City - A porker goes to Tel Aviv in search of his family. He will be sadly disappointed at what he finds.
Ex in the City - Mr Big has finally had enough of Carrie.
Aiders of the Lost Ark - Indiana Jones is beaten to the treasure by a group of student volunteers. |
| Whippersnapper. |
Posted - 06/07/2009 : 01:30:12
0 MOMENTS THAT SHOOK IRISH SPORT - An honest, if brief, account of Irish sporting achievement.
HAMPOO - In a desperate attempt to revive the franchise BABE goes very downmarket.
HEEP LEAD TO SLAUGHTER BY GOAT - Dark spinoff from DAVID COPPERFIELD. Uriah's sexual practices prove his downfall.
ICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA - Woody Allen's Bergmanesque character study of an excessively sentimental girl bearing a ridiculous surname.
LICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS - A close-up look at the world of these charming little creatures. Commentary by David Attenborough.
LAY MISTY FOR ME - An impotent husband hires Clint Eastwood to entertain his increasingly neurotic wife...
LIEN - Sigourney Weaver's property is seized by the courts to compensate a Space Development company for destruction of their playful specimens.
THE LOB - Steve McQueen plays a tennis pro, but events soon go way over his head.
LUTE - Donald Sutherland serenades Jane Fonda in this period rom-com.
MALL TIME CROOKS - Woody Allen plans a heist on a shopping centre's Jewellery store, with hilarious results!
OMAN HOLIDAY - Audrey Hepburn, hopelessly miscast as an Arab Princess, runs away and is found by journalist Gregory Peck. Praise be to Allah, they are soon caught by the authorities and beheaded amidst much public rejoicing.
TARMAN - Jeff Bridges must build 1000 miles of road in three days in order to save the world. Karen Allen watches anxiously.
TRIP POKER - The stakes are high and the players are higher! EASY RIDER meets THE CINCINATTI KID.
WARM - All star cast, led by Michael Caine are threatened by an irritating heat rash. One by one they start dropping like bees flies.
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| RockGolf |
Posted - 06/07/2009 : 00:35:37
Roundhog Day Babe puts on weight. |
| BaftaBaby |
Posted - 06/05/2009 : 23:42:01
Lass Action - Michael Apted directs Gene Hackman in a taut legal lesbian thriller.
Arrow Margin - Anne Archer is on the run as Maid Marion, witness to a killing by the Mafia Sheriff of Nottingham.
The Ark Knight - God tells Noah to dress as a bat and gather together all the animal species on a huge ark until Gotham is safe.
Tonement - While Keira Knightley is working out at the gym her younger sister finds a rude note which sparks the girls into a hilarious competition in the jazzercize class.
Ride and Prejudice - Strong-willed Lizzie defies her bigoted parents, sneaking out to meet her African lover who works at the amusement park.
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| MguyXXV |
Posted - 06/05/2009 : 22:58:05
0,000 B.C. - A haunting documentary on the nanosecond before the birth of Christ.
Elp - Oddly, a film abour four musical moptop Britons with a bit of a Cockney accent. (Sequel Ard Day's Night in development.)
Asino - tale about the stupidest gambling house pit boss in the world.
Axi Driver - A man tries to impress a 3 year old prostitute by claiming he's the only person who can drive a vehicle with multiple axles.
Ne Flew Over the Cuckcoo's Nest - recently discovered Monty Python short film wherein the Knights of Ne catapult themselves over a cuckcoo's nest.
Ilk - biopic of a man much like similar men.
The Reek Tycoon - biopic of the famed Limburger Cheese barron (executive producer: Cheese Ed).
Raining Day - L.A. narcotics cop misses his first day on the job because it's raining.
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| demonic |
Posted - 06/05/2009 : 22:28:43
Some hilarious work, people. I love it.
001: A Space Odyssey - A British Secret Agent is sent on a manned mission to Jupiter.
Pollo 13 - A disasterous attempt to send chickens to the moon.
The Eat My Heart Skipped - a Frenchman eats the best croque monsieur he's ever had.
End It Like Beckham - Keira Knightley spends the remainder of her career modelling underwear on the sides of buses.
Icycle Thieves - an Italian father and son steal a freezer.
The Ride of Frankenstein - The mad professor gives up playing God and takes up designing rollercoasters instead.
Ape Fear - a lawyer is pursued by a vengeful monkey.
Letch - Chevy Chase hits on every woman he sees.
The Old Rush - Pension day at the local post office.
Rave of the Fireflies - During the firebombing of Japan two siblings decide to take drugs and go dancing.
Van the Terrible - an anti Van Morrison documentary.
Ashville - Tennessee is obliterated by a volcanic eruption.
Al Joey - A musical starring Al Pacino as a young kangaroo in the city.
The Layer - Tim Robbins has sex with everyone in Hollywood.
Cream - A serial killer is ironically drowning teenagers in dairy products.
Hen Harry Met Sally- Is friendship between a chicken and a woman possible without sex getting in the way? |
| MguyXXV |
Posted - 06/05/2009 : 01:39:05
Why do Texas films lend themselves to this type of characterization:
The Lamo - Dull film about Texas slackers who let their fort get captured because, "Um ... I dunno".
One Star - A really bad film about a Texas town that is just one hair shy of being completely unbearable. |
| RockGolf |
Posted - 06/04/2009 : 21:36:06
Emale Trouble - The spellcheck on John Waters' Outlook fails.
Raveheart - Too much Ecstasy gives Mel Gibson a coronary
Sycho - Remarkably similar to the Gus Van Sant remake.
Lose Encounters of the Third Kind - Richard Dreyfuss gets an STD from an ET.
Hatterbox A haberdasher turns out to be a real c***. |
| BaftaBaby |
Posted - 06/04/2009 : 19:47:32
quote:
Originally posted by MguyX
(pretty fun game Beebs).
Thanks! I think you should send your Ockey pitches to Stallone - gotta be better than anything he's getting these days
You guys are VERY clever  and I'm laughing out loud at these ... keep 'em coming.
Here are some more from me:
Iller Tomatoes Eat France! - a medical drama in which some tomatoes catch scarlet fever and develop an insatiable appetite for French food.
Hosts of Girlfriends Past - When their promiscuous business partner tries to take over the company, two ambitious party-planners throw a sumptuous banquet and invites all the women their back-stabbing partner has dated and dumped so they can all wreck revenge.
The Id - Chaplin's long-lost comedy in which he plays the alter ego of Sigmund Freud with an unhealthy interest in little boys.
ALL-E - The definitive documentary concentrating on the effects of ecstasy.
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| Chris C |
Posted - 06/04/2009 : 15:48:17
quote:
Originally posted by demonic
Lash Gordon - The British public have had enough of their Prime Minister and take matters in their own hands.
One with the Wind - Scarlett O'Hara discovers that the extra plate of beans at lunchtime wasn't such a good idea after all. The sequel is Reaky Friday.
Rue Grit - John Wayne regrets burying his head in the sand as the Sioux came over the hill.
Itch Black - An interstellar convict's rash turns a funny colour.
Lack Beauty - Jocelyn Wildenstein is upset about the results of her latest operation.
Peed - He just couldn't hold it any longer.
Peed 2 - Neither could she.
'Aving Private Ryan - Tom Hanks helps the youngest brother of four lose his virginity.
Liver! - Lets make a song and dance about tonight's dinner.
Ion King - He led all the positive and negative atoms in the jungle.
Harlie and the Chocolate Factory - A young dyslexic sets off on his motorbike in search of confectionary.
Ill Bill - A terminally sick assassin hunts down the doctor who couldn't save him
 Thanks to Mrs C for some of the above. |
