| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| benj clews |
Posted - 09/02/2008 : 21:36:26
Had an idea for another game so I thought I'd put it here and see what you reckon (hopefully nobody's already suggested this).
Think of a film and reimagine it based entirely on the title alone. Extra points for recasting the original actors in your description.
To get the ball rolling, here's, er... Rollerball...
James Caan is a lowly ink-filler in a ball-point pen engineering plant in Kentucky. After a freak ink spillage renders him partially blind, he is driven insane by his constantly blue vision. At night he becomes The Rollerball- a maniac who kills Staples employees using ball-point pens (and occaisionally roll-on deodorant). Burt Kwouk, a rogue cop who doesn't believe in filling in any paperwork, is the only man who can stop him: by attaching a slightly too short chain to his nemesis. |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| benj clews |
Posted - 10/18/2008 : 13:31:51
Deep Blue Sea
After years of contemplation about the waste man has poured into them, all the Earth's oceans decide they don't want to live any longer. Samuel L Jackson is the Samaritans worker (who, ironically, nearly drowned as a child) struggling to reconcile his demons whilst also taking 5 simultaneous suicide calls without missing out on his lunch. Co-stars Saffron Burrows as a particularly slender bottle of Volvic that, through highly convoluted circumstances, has to strip all it's labelling off. |
| [matt] |
Posted - 10/11/2008 : 00:41:53
This idea is genius! I'm really surprised it hasn't caught on more.
Benj, I pissed myself at your version of Rollerball! 
Jaws
An educational film for dentistry students, exploring the bone structure of the mouth.
Look Who's Talking
The heart-rending story of one man's struggle to come to terms with the total loss of his hearing. Starring John Travolta as the newly-deaf man and Kirstie Alley as his wife, they must now learn sign language together if they are ever to communicate properly again.
Kindergarten Cop
By day, he's your average 5 year old kindergarten student. By night, he's the youngest, toughest, and smartest officer in the LAPD. Using a combination of SFX make-up, CGI, and trick camera work to make him look younger and smaller, Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as the little cop with a big job - to clean up the violent, drug-ridden streets of LA, and take down its biggest gang lords before they take over the city... all whilst getting his homework in on time.
Sample dialogue: "I'll be back... after recess."
There Will Be Blood
A sex education film for prepubescent girls. Presented by Daniel Day-Lewis.
Million Dollar Baby
Clint Eastwood plays a millionaire who can afford everything he has ever wanted in life... except a baby (he doesn't want to adopt; his heart is set on a baby of his own). His sickeningly maternal and broody nature has put off all the women ever interested in him, and now all he desires in life is a child. It's when he meets a down-on-her-luck, broke, troubled young woman (Hilary Swank) with no prospect of a happy future that things start looking up for him. He offers her a million dollars to have sex with him, get pregnant and have his baby. Kind of like Indecent Proposal but it's not about the sex.
Sample dialogue: *talking to his own genitals* "You've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, spunk?"
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| Airbolt |
Posted - 10/02/2008 : 00:02:54
South of the Border- Sinister latin american dictator Chugo Havez is an all round rotten egg. Together with his pinko cohorts he lures the entire US Navy into a sinister trap.It looks like he has the upper hand. Wait! Theres one ship left. Decommisioned in WW2 for clap-related offences the U.S.S V.D has been covered in shame. The crew , now in rude health thanks to the Dick Docs, re-unite for a shot at redemption. You'll be surprised what healthy seamen can acheive!
Crime Busters Crime is rife in the estates surrounding Turin. The Institute of Crime sends in two learned professors ( Terence Hill and Bud Spencer )who soon find that the problem is rooted in a deep-seated group anxiety over the role of the superego. Having discussed the theories of Wittgenstein and Kant, Terence and Bud motivate the community to love themselves and let go of some of their anger. |
| duh |
Posted - 10/01/2008 : 23:36:28
52 Pickup
1978 grade B film features Mark Hamill as a farm boy who finds an abandoned 1952 Chevy pickup truck. He gets it running again with the help of his friend Wamprat, who like himself, is not in the popular crowd at the area rural high school. They do a fine job of pimping out the pickup, including hanging fuzzy dice from the rearview mirror and installing a gun rack. The action that takes place in Beggars' Canyon will keep you on the edge of your seat. |
| Airbolt |
Posted - 10/01/2008 : 11:49:07
Free Willy - Actor and faux rapper Will Smith is imprisoned by the authorities who mistake " Enemy of the State " for a training film. He is freed after promising never to release another rap song.
Die Hard - Someone is putting poison into Viagra!
Winchester 73- Hugh Grant and Helena Bonham Carter in a 1970s Brit-rom-com set in the cathedral city. See Hugh in flares! See Helena in cheesecloth!
Super Mario A really partisan view of New York Governor Mario Cuomo played by Kevin Spacey. He wins the Presidential nomination, brings about world peace, solves hunger and then flies into space.
The Dirty Dozen - In this Paul Verhoeven film , Ronnie Cox plays a futuristic dictator who controls the supply of soap. Arnold Schwarzenegger, an ex-Special forces hero ,decides to recruit a rough and filth-encrusted band to overthrow him. Hear Arnie say " Veer gonna clean up zis vor-eld!" |
| ChocolateLady |
Posted - 09/21/2008 : 09:40:00
quote:
Originally posted by demonic
Blade Runner - An animated CGI kids/horror/drama film about a radical group of young ants who are bored with their mundane existence of supporting the colony and start a daredevil club where they have to scuttle across an upturned razor blade and survive.
Gosh, and here I thought it was a type of remake of "Death of a Salesman" where this one sells kitchen knives. |
| demonic |
Posted - 09/19/2008 : 19:54:40
Blade Runner - An animated CGI kids/horror/drama film about a radical group of young ants who are bored with their mundane existence of supporting the colony and start a daredevil club where they have to scuttle across an upturned razor blade and survive. |
| Whippersnapper. |
Posted - 09/19/2008 : 16:37:29
Ice Cold In Alex - Gay remake of "Eskimo Gang Bang".
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| BaftaBaby |
Posted - 09/19/2008 : 15:45:12
I'm late to the script conference table, but here's a thought:
Some Like it Hot -
A rufty-tufty yet poignant action flick about a pyromaniac, played by chain-smoking Humphrey Bogart. He's deranged ever since he saw his grandparents freeze to death because fuel bills rose too high for them to keep the heating on. So, in some twisted vengeance he sets fire to the homes of Big Energy executives. Will he ever be caught?!
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| ChocolateLady |
Posted - 09/18/2008 : 07:56:12
And then there's Gone With The Wind - a documentary about the aftermath of the USA Gulf states after Katrina, etc.
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| duh |
Posted - 09/18/2008 : 06:51:46
quote:
Originally posted by CankleFetish
Speed Racer is Burt Reynolds 2008 followup to 70's classics 'White lightning' and 'Gator'.
Set in Bonne Terre, Missouri, Gator(Burt) now runs meth for the the local baddies, while trying to avoid the tenacious local sheriff, played by some guy who looks like a combination of Ned Beatty and jackie Gleason... Burt Young perhaps.
Some classics just shouldn't have sequels. ;) |
| Canklefish |
Posted - 09/17/2008 : 20:22:46
Speed Racer is Burt Reynolds 2008 followup to 70's classics 'White lightning' and 'Gator'.
Set in Bonne Terre, Missouri, Gator(Burt) now runs meth for the the local baddies, while trying to avoid the tenacious local sheriff, played by some guy who looks like a combination of Ned Beatty and jackie Gleason... Burt Young perhaps.
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| duh |
Posted - 09/17/2008 : 18:31:05
Waterworld
Educational 60's Disney short about construction of Pirates of the Carribbean. Walt himself hosts and narrates, with the assistance of Captain Mickey. Ahoy there, matey! |
| Beanmimo |
Posted - 09/17/2008 : 17:12:31
Casablanca - a retrospective on the the campaign trail of the first Hispanic US President |
| Whippersnapper. |
Posted - 09/17/2008 : 15:25:10
"Born Yesterday" - set in a maternity ward.
"Boxing Helena" - starring Helena Bonham-Carter and Mike Tyson. Not for the squeamish!
Possible dialogue :
Friend: Oh my God Helena! What's happened to your face??? I could hardly recognise you!
Helena: Huh! You should Tyson!
"Dumbo" - Biopic of George W Bush. I'm casting Danny De Vito as George W with Halle Berry as "Condy" and Jack Nicholson as "Rumsy". Jim Carrey will be "The White House Spokesman". Assuming Mike Tyson has finished filming "Boxing Helena" he would be my ideal choice as Colin Powell.
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