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| Jones was afraid, petrified. |
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| Hackman picks some scabs. |
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| Dude, I'm Quarterback? Whoa! |
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| Lap-dancers succour scabs. |
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| Amateurs, rugby players, Neo. |
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| Scab Reeves leaves scars. |
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| Martel hammered, Falco soars. |
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| Keanu. Football. Gloria Gaynor. |
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| Reeves outacts tackling dummy. |
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| Wannabes win football match. |
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| Stripper cheerleaders valuable assets. |
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| Never-beens Hack pro football. |
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| Hackman, Keanu lead misfits. |
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| Scab football team succeeds. |
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| Reeves: audience's football fantasy. |
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| Rebel Reeves plays 'ball. |
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| Amateurs fill football void. |
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| Keanu (believably!) tackles gridiron. |
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| Deaf receiver catches fanbase. |
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| Team needs Neo quarterback. |
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