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| Costner becomes a swinger. |
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| Dances with elephants, donkeys. |
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| Voter fraud energizes Texico. |
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| Costner becomes hanging chad. |
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| Politicians collar blue-collar. |
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| Costner experiences electile dysfunction. |
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| Bud Johnson's fifteen minutes. |
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| Grammer mishandles football analogy. |
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| Indecisive voter's choice unrevealed. |
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| Costner experiences political pandering. |
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| Costner's opinion finally matters. |
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| Candidates counting on Costner. |
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