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| Beautiful rendition of cliche. |
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| Song, dance, romance, death. |
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| Bollywood movie in English. |
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| Lovelorn librettist laments loss. |
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| 80's Greatest Hits remixed. |
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| Courtesan sings, dances, dies. |
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| Flamboyant choreographers induce slumber. |
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| Costumes, choreography glorify prostitution. |
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| Lavish, anachronistic Fin-de-Siecle Romp. |
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| Ridiculous musical with Ewan. |
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| Mincy musical with Nicole. |
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| Musical romance in windmill. |
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| Ewan- foghorn. Nicole- diva. |
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| Kidman croons contemporary tunes. |
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| Satine's sick, Christian's heartsick. |
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| Kidman gets cough, chokes. |
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| Drug induced Kylie dream. |
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| Kidman; "Laaa...*cough, splutter*..." |
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| Absynth consumed, consumptive expires. |
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| Bearded McGregor looks back. |
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| Leguizamo shrinks to Loutrec. |
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| Baz Luhrman's dull �poque. |
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| Musical whores on parade. |
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| Nirvana song badly inappropriate. |
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| Brilliant BAZterpiece blows mind! |
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| Toulouse-Lautrec converts Christian. |
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| Kidman shines, McGregor whines. |
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| Editing induces motion sickness. |
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| Poet pines. Courtesan croaks. |
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| Criminally indefensibly polymorphously bad. |
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| Parisian cabaret, camp overload. |
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| Singin' Ewan's screwin' Kidman. |
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| Baz's Paris lacks Hilton. |
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| Satine corrupts young Christian. |
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| Kidman cants, chokes, croaks. |
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| Kidman, Ewan, the others. |
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| Wow, Nicole can can-can!!!! |
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| Traviata gets trivialized, musically. |
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| Baz-blended enigmatic musical. |
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| Kidman, McGregor, bohemian rhapsodies. |
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| Absinthe-fuelled psychedelic nightmares. |
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| Consumption claims Kidman's chanteuse. |
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| Kidman's hackwork elicits tears. |
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| Clairvoyant courtesan channels Ciccone. |
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| Baz reinvents film musicals! |
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| Christian, Satine dupe Duke. |
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| Aussie pomp and circumstance. |
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| Bad music's well produced. |
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| Kylie's fairy: drug-induced. |
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| Bohemian spectacular 'Pretty Woman'. |
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| Ridiculous Obi-session with Love. |
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| Dancing, costumes, make-up, yawn. |
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| Fairy good voice-over, Ozzy! |
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| Writer loves dying whore. |
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| Nicole can-can, Ewan cannot. |
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| Songs Luhrmann to Kidman. |
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| Consumption dampens spirited performance. |
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| Absinthe, lust, Teen Spirit. |
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| Broadbent Prances, Kidman Dances. |
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| Burlesque, farcical 'Love Story'. |
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| Fantastic 'La Boheme' re-working! |
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| Toulouse Obi-Wan's heart. |
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| Ozzy Osbourne does musical. |
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| Luhrmann's technicolor karaoke spectacle. |
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| Luhrman learns swishy cabaret. |
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| Absinthe makes for showtunes. |
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| Contagious whore exposes others. |
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| Singing! Dancing! Consumption! |
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| Showy, untalented cover rip-off. |
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| Long musical, short artist. |
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| Everybody sings, nobody wins! |
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| Highly stylised zenithal musical. |
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| Ewen, Nicole induce migraines. |
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