Diaz + Cusack + keener = Malkovich.
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JonoGigantor (87)
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Reviews by 'JonoGigantor'
Current status of
Movie buff
with a total of
87
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
Messenger: The Story Of Joan Of Arc, The (1999)
Jo(vovich)an of Arc.
Jun 29, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Pink Panther 2, The (2009)
Cleese succeeds Kline.
Jun 28, 2009
Scored 2/5
Vote
Schindler's List (1993)
Hanging Goeth Hails Hitler.
Jun 19, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
Eastern Promises (2007)
Viggo finger-clipping driver.
Mar 29, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
Eastern Promises (2007)
Kirill likes to watch.
Mar 29, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
Burn After Reading (2008)
Malkovich hacks Hardbody's manager.
Mar 25, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
Watchmen (2009)
Rorschach becomes red ink.
Mar 22, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Watchmen (2009)
Ozymandias the modern Pharaoh.
Mar 22, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
Watchmen (2009)
Ozymandias cleverly kills Comedian.
Mar 22, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
Office Space (1999)
Livingston avoids Lumberg's lectures.
Mar 12, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Windtalkers (2002)
Cage storms Saipan Beach.
Mar 12, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
American Graffiti (1973)
Ford's first famous film.
Mar 12, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
The Good German (2006)
Maguire pimps Blanchett.
Mar 12, 2009
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Quantum Of Solace (2008)
Bond doesn't bang Olga.
Mar 12, 2009
Scored 3/5
Vote
Letters From Iwo Jima (2006)
Dud bomb hits Saigo.
Mar 10, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
Last Samurai, The (2003)
White samurai Cruises Japan.
Mar 10, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Taken (2008)
Neeson busts some caps.
Mar 8, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Dark Knight, The (2008)
Joker's phone call bursts.
Mar 6, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
Big Lebowski, The (1998)
Two Lebowskis, one Dude.
Feb 18, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Prestige, The (2006)
Jackman's clones encounter Bale.
Feb 18, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
Amadeus (1984)
Salieri: Saint of Mediocrity.
Feb 18, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, The (2008)
Life passes by counterclockwise.
Feb 6, 2009
Scored 5/5
Vote
Wrestler, The (2008)
Ram, Ayatollah sudden death.
Feb 6, 2009
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Choke (2008)
Sexaholic gags for money.
Oct 14, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Iron Man (2008)
Sound silently paralyzes Stark.
Sep 22, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Hot Fuzz (2007)
Church tower Pegged Skinner.
Aug 20, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor, The (2008)
Li regenerates by constipation.
Aug 8, 2008
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Troy (2004)
Bloom's Pit(t)iful fighting skills.
Aug 6, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Dark Knight, The (2008)
Two-Face(s) of coin.
Aug 6, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
There Will Be Blood (2007)
Plainview gets a strike.
Aug 6, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Casino Royale (2006)
Blood-tearing LeChiffre bluffs.
Jul 15, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Get Smart (2008)
Arkin's head nearly impaled.
Jul 15, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom (1984)
Mola Ram incinerates heart.
Jul 15, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
Simpsons Movie, The (2007)
Homer shit infects lake.
Jul 15, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull (2008)
Spalko's brain too small.
Jul 11, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Shaun Of The Dead (2004)
The Winchester: Fortress/Pub.
Jul 9, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Zoolander (2001)
Walk-off shames Stiller.
Jul 9, 2008
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
Wanted (2008)
Sloan taints the loom.
Jul 9, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
No Country For Old Men (2007)
Death by coin toss.
May 12, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981)
Indy dices Nazi.
Mar 18, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Double Indemnity (1944)
Walter's Femme Fatale Flame.
Mar 18, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
Double Indemnity (1944)
Femme Fatale Phyllis Falls.
Mar 18, 2008
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Bonnie And Clyde (1967)
Bonnie Clyde Double Trouble.
Mar 18, 2008
Scored 3/5
Vote
Ocean's Twelve (2004)
Frenchman steals fake egg.
Feb 7, 2008
Scored 3/5
Vote
Red Dragon (2002)
Fiennes an artistic eater.
Jan 29, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Fight Club (1999)
Shoots self kills Pitt.
Jan 21, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Braveheart (1995)
The Patriot (scottish version).
Jan 21, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
(3)
GoldenEye (1995)
Onatopp always on top.
Jan 5, 2008
Scored 5/5
Vote
Beowulf (2007)
Big Bad 'Wulf.
Dec 28, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Game Plan, The (2007)
The dancing prancing Rock.
Dec 20, 2007
Scored 2/5
Vote
Count Of Monte Cristo, The (2002)
Count not a Saint.
Dec 18, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Blood Diamond (2006)
DiCaprio dies on T.I.A.
Dec 18, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Chicago (2002)
Gere ventriloquists Zellweger.
Dec 17, 2007
Scored 2/5
Vote
History Of The World: Part I (1981)
Pee boy replaces King.
Nov 27, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan (2006)
Borat bags blonde.
Nov 26, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Beowulf (2007)
Grendel hates loud noises.
Nov 21, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Beowulf (2007)
Beowulf fights bare naked!
Nov 21, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Good, The Bad And The Ugly, The (1966)
Tuco the bathtub killer.
Nov 13, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Mamba takes down Charmer.
Nov 1, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return Of The Jedi (1983)
Leia chain-garrotes Jabba.
Nov 1, 2007
Scored 4/5
Vote
Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King, The (2003)
The roast of Sauron.
Oct 25, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(4)
Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King, The (2003)
The Fell beasts fall.
Oct 25, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
Uruk-hai urge for flesh.
Oct 16, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Shooter (2007)
Swagger has a roast.
Oct 15, 2007
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
Vidal's hour of death.
Oct 10, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Ocean's Thirteen (2007)
Matt's nose of charm.
Oct 8, 2007
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Die Another Day (2002)
Zao has expensive acne.
Oct 4, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(3)
War (2007)
Statham vs. Rogue Li.
Oct 4, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
War (2007)
Yakuza vs. Triads.
Oct 4, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
War (2007)
Li has head hunt.
Oct 4, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Transporter 2, The (2005)
Statham nails assassin.
Oct 4, 2007
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Transformers (2007)
Megawesome-tron.
Sep 30, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Patriot, The (2000)
Tavington gets the point.
Sep 30, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
Sparrow back from locker.
Sep 29, 2007
Scored 4/5
Vote
Kingdom Of Heaven (2005)
Bloom gets knight slapped.
Sep 28, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Citizen Kane (1941)
Kane's 'singer' wife sucks.
Sep 23, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Gold Rush, The (1925)
Lace spaghetti. Mmm..Good.
Sep 19, 2007
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
300 (2006)
300 spartans with thongs.
Sep 17, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Rush Hour 3 (2007)
Chan, Tucker. Fin3st hour.
Sep 17, 2007
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith (2005)
Vader gets barbequed.
Sep 12, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Forrest Gump (1994)
Ping Pong Soldier.
Sep 12, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Stardust (2007)
Dancing DeNiro a captain.
Sep 10, 2007
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Departed, The (2006)
Matt the rat.
Sep 8, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(4)
Apocalypto (2006)
Conquistadors come. Mayans screwed.
Aug 30, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Gladiator (2000)
Emperor dead. General betrayed.
Aug 29, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
Bourne Ultimatum, The (2007)
Bourne has his identi3.
Aug 27, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Uma + Crazy 88's = bloody.
Aug 25, 2007
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
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