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| Cable repairman saves world. |
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| Smith, Goldblum nuke aliens. |
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| Suicidal hick saves world. |
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| Humanity's Independence, Will asserted. |
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| President saves the world. |
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| Unhuman egos attack aliens. |
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| Alien computers hacked, nuked. |
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| Fresh Prince destroys aliens. |
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| Fireworks fly, aliens die. |
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| Goldblum's Apple ad prelude. |
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| President fights own battles. |
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| President makes war personally. |
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| Stripper's spouse skippers spacecraft. |
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| Aliens catch Goldblum's cold. |
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| Virus defeats alien fleet. |
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| USB connectivity, alien ware. |
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| Whitmore discovers Area 51. |
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| Goldblum is Smith's sidekick? |
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| Smith nukes bastard aliens. |
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| Nuke Washington? Good idea! |
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| Goldblum prefers 'Oops'-less takeoff. |
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| Alcoholic visits alien buddies. |
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| Alien fireworks = millions dead. |
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| Quaid avenges anal probing. |
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| President marries Smith, stripper. |
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| 'Green shit' misses Will. |
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| Crop duster saves humanity. |
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| Jewish technician plays chess. |
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| Randy returns alien probe. |
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| Crop sprayer debugs galaxy. |
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| Will Saves FOXy Stripper. |
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| Interstellar locusts destroy landmarks. |
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| Patriotic Pullman, antagonistic aliens. |
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| Quaid avenges rectal examination. |
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| Reverend Connick Jr., ascended. |
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| President learns about Roswell. |
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| Apple Mac transmits virus. |
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| Plastic models, plastic actors. |
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| Goldblum plays nerd again. |
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| President Pullman protects planet. |
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| Aliens toast welcoming party. |
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| Aliens obliterate big buildings. |
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| Apparently aliens disliked Casablanca. |
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| Aliens need better firewall. |
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| Aliens bring kitchen sink. |
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| President's ACTUALLY a pilot! |
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| Whitehouse explosion overused excessively. |
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| President Pullman's puerile pontifications. |
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| Illegal aliens cripple America. |
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| Pyrotechnics wrapped in flag. |
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| Computer virus saves world. |
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| Smith flies alien fighter. |
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| Crop duster beats aliens. |
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| Dog faster than fireball. |
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| Weird scientist offends President. |
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| Smiths's Earth welcome questionable. |
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| Apple software saves planet? |
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| H.G. Wells for flagwavers. |
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| Alien ships Mac-compatible. |
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| Crop duster eradicates pests. |
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| Quaid returns alien greeting. |
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| Aliens permit viral docking. |
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| Smith goes to Washington. |
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| Alcoholic father foils aliens. |
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| Crippled spaceships flatten planet? |
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| Aliens given nasty virus. |
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| White House = black crater. |
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| Data's alien autopsy surprise. |
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| Quaid, aliens: fatal error. |
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| Connick, Junior: early casualty. |
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| President's fighter licence current. |
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| 'War of Worlds' plagiarized. |
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| President flies fighter jet. |
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