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Conan The Barbarian (1982) |
| 86 reviews |
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Film rated 3.4 / 5
(Chick rating: 3.1 / 5)
(Guy rating: 3.4 / 5)
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| Arnold, Cimmerian with rage! |
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| Typecasting at its finest. |
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| 'That's GOVERNOR The Barbarian!'. |
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| Herculean Tyrolean = Cimmerian Barbarian. |
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| Conan delivers Thulsa's Doom. |
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| Dooming down Howard's Hyboria. |
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| Jones cult without koolaid. |
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| Schwarzenegger slays sizeable snake. |
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| 'Good in Life' explained. |
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| Ground control, major Crom. |
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| Austrian Oak: Wooden swordsman. |
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| Fool-proof casting for Schwarzenegger. |
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| Blood! Boobs! Swords! Snakes! |
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| Conan killed dialogue coach. |
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| Serpent and the crossbows. |
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| Cinematic Cimmerian creams cult. |
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| Gladiator dispenses seed, revenge. |
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| Stiff snake penetrates girl. |
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| Arnie versus Snake Vader. |
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| Arnie finds his Nietzsche. |
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| Thulsa Doom's Conan's family. |
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| Doom beheaded, Conan's revenge. |
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| Vampiress thrown in fire. |
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| Greased moron kills snake. |
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| Teutonic tool thumps Thulsa. |
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| Over muscled, over priced. |
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| Arnie lacks dialogue, luckily. |
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| Steroid abuser seeks revenge. |
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| Classic fantasy epic brilliance. |
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| Thrusting swords, large snake. |
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| Barbarian befriends surfer Mongol. |
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| Governor wears leather, fur. |
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| Conan pooh-poohs Subotai's wind. |
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| Camel abused by barbarian. |
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| Gay-basher sees infinity. |
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| 'Car crash' Arnie viewing. |
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| Massive muscles make mayhem. |
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| Meathead barbarian bashes cult. |
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| Slavery forges vengeful warrior. |
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| Arnie battles giant serpent. |
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| Gladiator Schwarzenegger revenges parents. |
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| Ladyfriend makes great kindling. |
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| Silent Schwarzenegger, barbaric brute. |
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| Barbarian fights snake king. |
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| Arnie's barbaric bodybuilding succeeds. |
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| Baby Arnie kills everything. |
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| Sonja's ghost rescues Conan. |
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| Dead blonde saves airhead. |
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| Arnie's first 'acting' gig. |
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| Almost naked arnie fights. |
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| Austrian Oak slays snake. |
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| Conan seeks pre-historic revenge. |
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| Devoted bimbo cliff dives. |
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| Conan conquers super snake. |
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| Jones, snake denied clemency. |
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