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Madonna fences Bond's pretences.
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70 Falken (1234)
71 Al Swearengen (1230)
72 soda (1175)
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Sneaking in an extra word.
Reviews by 'Al Swearengen'
Current status of Movie oracle with a total of 1230 reviews published to date.
Order by  Film Name Review Votes Review Score Chronological Order Show 
Thomas Crown Affair, The (1999)
Remington steals.
Aug 21, 2004
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (44)   
Big Fish (2003)
Albert fini.
Jun 28, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (42)   
Titanic (1997)
King of world drowns.
Dec 12, 2002
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (34)   
Rocky Horror Picture Show, The (1975)
Curry and Meat Loaf.
Apr 21, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (32)   
Splash (1984)
Hanks chases some tail.
Feb 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (32)   
Last Samurai, The (2003)
Blaveheart.
Jun 20, 2004
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (25)   
Bad Santa (2003)
The worst Noel.
Jul 16, 2004
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (22)   
Benji (1974)
Loveable mutt discovers clews.
May 3, 2004
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (22)   
Yentl (1983)
Funny Boy.
Jul 9, 2004
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (21)   
Hidalgo (2004)
Rein Man.
Apr 15, 2004
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (20)   
Cool As Ice (1991)
Ice seeks cred, people.
Jul 8, 2004
Scored 0/5
 
  Vote (19)   
Animal House (1978)
Kevin Bacon's first degree.
Jan 8, 2003
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (18)   
Bad Santa (2003)
St Prick.
Jul 16, 2004
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (18)   
Blazing Saddles (1974)
Apparently, Cleavon's not little.
Jul 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (18)   
Silkwood (1983)
Streep portrays plutonium blonde.
Aug 19, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (18)   
Bad Santa (2003)
Jingle bail.
Jul 16, 2004
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (17)   
Deliverance (1972)
Beatty's only love scene.
Jan 8, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (17)   
School Of Rock, The (2003)
Schoolhouse Rock.
Mar 24, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (17)   
Unlawful Entry (1992)
Affair cop.
Jul 6, 2004
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (17)   
Wild Things (1998)
Hotties make Bacon sandwich.
Dec 12, 2002
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (17)   
Chicago (2002)
Tolerable. Then, Gere sings.
May 17, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (15)   
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
'Newman's Own' boiled eggs.
Dec 1, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (15)   
Dirty Dancing (1987)
Swayze tries having 'Baby'.
Feb 12, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (15)   
Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982)
Fish fryer chokes chicken.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (15)   
Predator (1987)
Venus Williams battles Arnie.
Jan 2, 2003
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (15)   
Bruce Almighty (2003)
God likes big tits.
Dec 20, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (14)   
Beaches (1988)
Daughter misses Hershey's kisses.
Dec 7, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (13)   
Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King, The (2003)
Saruman battles editor, loses.
Dec 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (13)   
8 Crazy Nights (2002)
Hannukah Barbera.
Aug 20, 2004
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (12)   
California Suite (1978)
Hotel has four stories.
Apr 21, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (12)   
S.W.A.T. (2003)
Frenchman acts like T.W.A.T.
Feb 3, 2004
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (12)   
S.W.A.T. (2003)
Seriously Wasted Acting Talent.
Feb 3, 2004
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (12)   
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Begin apprenticeship, Luke must.
Mar 13, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (11)   
That Thing You Do! (1996)
The one hit 'Wonders'.
May 1, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (11)   
Big Fish (2003)
Albert finny.
Jun 28, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (10)   
Caveman (1981)
Dung Beatle.
Aug 29, 2004
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (10)   
Morning After, The (1986)
Jane Fonda drinking.
Nov 29, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (10)   
Passion Of The Christ, The (2004)
Repulsive Christian snuff film.
Mar 21, 2004
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (10)   
This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
Mockumentary is one louder.
Jan 20, 2003
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (10)   
Bodyguard, The (1992)
Houston sexually harasses employee.
May 31, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (9)   
Fantastic Voyage (1966)
Raquel gets a reduction.
Jan 5, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (9)   
Godfather: Part III, The (1990)
Sofia Coppola: Keanu's sister?
Dec 12, 2002
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (9)   
Last Tango In Paris (1972)
Brando's hot buttered buns.
Jan 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (9)   
Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
Avoiding death by dildo.
Jan 6, 2003
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (9)   
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones (2002)
Petulalant twit woos hottie.
Dec 13, 2002
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (9)   
Straight Story, The (1999)
Lynch visits planet Earth.
Dec 12, 2002
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (9)   
Thirteen Days (2000)
Costner's Boston accent crisis.
Feb 17, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (9)   
Armageddon (1998)
'Die Hard' on meteor.
Jan 6, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Being John Malkovich (1999)
Diaz wears Malkovich condom.
Dec 12, 2002
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Breakfast At Tiffany's (1961)
Rooney repulsively apes Asians.
May 5, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Color Purple, The (1985)
Spielberg: Guilt-ridden whitey.
Feb 4, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Easy Rider (1969)
Peter Fonda motorcycles.
Dec 1, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Evil Dead, The (1981)
Zombies kick Ash.
Aug 19, 2004
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Meaning Of Life, The (1983)
Cleese teaches inter course.
May 29, 2004
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Seabiscuit (2003)
Red can't see Biscuit.
Jan 2, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Silence Of The Lambs, The (1991)
Hannibal wears policeman mask.
Jan 7, 2003
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Starship Troopers (1997)
Wow! Insects shit fire!
Dec 12, 2002
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (8)   
Angel Heart (1987)
Beelzebub on the bayou.
Jan 16, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Breakfast At Tiffany's (1961)
Idiot names cat 'Cat'.
May 8, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Can't Stop The Music (1980)
'Academy' wasn't Guttenberg's worst.
Oct 20, 2003
Scored 0/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Coming To America (1988)
Royal penis is cleaned.
Feb 13, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Die Another Day (2002)
Brosnan gives tortured performance.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Ghostbusters (1984)
When marshmallow men attack.
Feb 2, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Life Of Brian (1979)
Messiah exclaims 'Fuck off!'.
Feb 19, 2004
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
Violent orc battle. Repeat.
Jan 3, 2003
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Majestic, The (2001)
Theater opens. Eyes close.
Jan 9, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Romy And Michele's High School Reunion (1997)
Kudrow, Sorvino play Phoebe.
Aug 26, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Sum Of All Fears, The (2002)
Subtraction of all plausibility.
Feb 6, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (7)   
Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
Milk junkies go wilding.
May 1, 2003
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Cocktail (1988)
Idiots flip liquor bottles.
Jan 20, 2003
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Meaning Of Life, The (1983)
Wasted sperm angers God.
May 29, 2004
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Once Upon A Time In Mexico (2003)
Mariachi reaches new Depps.
Jan 29, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Once Upon A Time In The West (1968)
Bronson's revenge is harmonious.
Jan 22, 2004
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Purple Rain (1984)
Midget singer on motorcycle.
Feb 2, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Scarlet Letter, The (1995)
Director's adultery: screwing author.
Apr 25, 2003
Scored 0/5
 
  Vote (6)   
Twister (1996)
Idiots chase the wind.
Jan 5, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (6)   
28 Days Later (2002)
PETA unleashes deadly virus.
Nov 4, 2003
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Against The Ropes (2004)
Ryan has cauliflower lips.
May 16, 2004
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Bad Lieutenant (1992)
Keitel flashes little lieutenant.
Jan 28, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Basic Instinct (1992)
Beaver shot. That's all.
Dec 12, 2002
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Breakfast At Tiffany's (1961)
Doc won't go lightly.
May 8, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (5)   
City Of Ghosts (2002)
Cambodian Caan artist.
Dec 15, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Frailty (2001)
Serial killing for Jesus.
Jan 5, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (5)   
In America (2002)
Emigration. No laughing Mateo.
Aug 21, 2004
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (2003)
'Princess Bride' at sea.
Dec 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Blonde lends an ear.
Mar 13, 2003
Scored 6/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Sphere (1998)
Orb offers best performance.
Dec 12, 2002
Scored 1/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Star Chamber, The (1983)
Vigilante justices.
Jan 15, 2005
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (5)   
Thunderbolt And Lightfoot (1974)
Eastwood crosses Bridges.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (5)   
World According To Garp, The (1982)
Bastard grows up feminist.
Jan 24, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (5)   
American Psycho (2000)
Yuppie chews scenery, flesh.
Dec 12, 2002
Scored 3/5
 
  Vote (4)   
As Good As It Gets (1997)
Neurotic geezer somehow scores.
Jan 13, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Blair Witch Project, The (1999)
When marketing campaigns attack!
Dec 12, 2002
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Boy And His Dog, A (1975)
Post-apocalyptic dog chases tail.
Apr 21, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Casino (1995)
Pesci portrays pinata.
Jun 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Chariots Of Fire (1981)
Olympians sprint in pajamas.
Jan 22, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Dream Team, The (1989)
Keaton's shitty 'Cuckoo's Nest'.
Dec 5, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (4)   
Eraserhead (1977)
Lynch's start, sanity's end.
Feb 14, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
French Lieutenant's Woman, The (1981)
Two sluts, different eras.
Oct 22, 2003
Scored 2/5
 
  Vote (4)   
History Of The World: Part I (1981)
Grand Inquisitor sings, dances.
Feb 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
 
  Vote (4)   
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